World's Most Tortured Fans

Change of plans...

2009-04-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

False alarm.

Turns out my blog will now be featured on cleveland.com.

here is the link:

http://blog.cleveland.com/tortured_fans

Blog Relaunch!

2009-04-20T04:42:00.000-07:00

I'm BACK!!

After a two-year layoff, I'm going to bring this baby back to life!

I have been writing columns consistenly on Bleacher Report. You can read those here:

http://bleacherreport.com/users/2755-Jon-Sladek

Greatest Cavs team ever?!

2007-05-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

They have coasted through large portions of this season. They have frustrated us with breakdowns in fundamentals, specifically free throw shooting. But with an Eastern Conference Finals berth just one win away, this Cavalier team has to be grouped in the conversation of the greatest teams in Cavalier history.

True, how exciting it is to be considered the greatest team of a franchise that has yet to even appear in an NBA Finals series is debatable, it is still a history that spans 37 years.

Only two other Cavalier squads have appeared in the Eastern Conference Finals; the 1976 and 1992 teams.

Both teams lost in six games.

You may remember 1976 as the "Miracle of Richfield" team. Despite the monniker, that squad finished 49-33 and won just one series to get to the Eastern Finals. The '92 team featured the Mark Price/Brad Daugherty/Larry Nance trio and finished 57-25. They defeated the New Jersey Nets 3-1 in the first round and the Boston Celtics 4-3 in the second.

As of now, I would still put the '92 team far ahead of this years Cavs. If not for Michael Jordan, that was surely an NBA Finals team and maybe a league champion. Should LeBron's boys find a way to get passed the mighty Pistons, I will reconsider my stance.

-- I'm not very happy with the Indians right now.
I'm not sure if Mark Shapiro goes to the nearest cave to hibernate once the season starts, but there are some GLARING personnel moves that NEED to be made before the Tigers completely run away with the Central

1. Sowers needs to be starting for Buffalo, like yesterday. He clearly is NOT ready for the big time and now is having trouble even giving the Tribe 5 innings. Carmona is light years better than Jeremy right now and deserves to be in the rotation even after Jake Westbrook comes off the disabled list.

2. We need bullpen help bad. Go get Brad Lidge by any means necessary. Joe Borowski is absolutely BRUTAL. And if you think he won't be serving up moon shots well into September if we let him, you are sorely mistaken. I can't think of any other closer in the history of basebal that was effective topping out at 88 MPH.

3. Quit fooling around with the Michaels/Dellucci platoon and just bring up Choo and start him in left the rest of the year. Trust me on this one! The guy has a cannon arm, good glove and will hit you .280. I still haven't figured out why Choo didn't make the roster coming out of Spring Training. Michaels does nothing exceptional and Dellucci cannot hit with runners in scoring position to save his life.

These moves seem like common sense to me. I think baseball general managers are worse than their counterparts in the other major sports when it comes to shying away from the obvious move.

Crucial series with the Twins coming up. Winning or sweeping the series will get the Tribe right back on track in the division. Losing the series could start a May freefall that could lead to a lot of meaningless games in August and September, and those are never fun.

16-8?!!

2007-05-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

Nobody can say the 2007 Indians aren't resilient.

Most years, having an entire four-game home series rain/snowed out, playing a subsequent "home" series in Milwaukee, and getting swept in New York in a game in which our closer melted down and surrendered six runs in the ninth, would be a recipe for another disasterous April.

But something strange happened this year. The Indians did the exact opposite what they would have done every other season.

Rather than shrinking in the face of adversity, they have thrived. Rather than allowing our divisional rivals to take advantage and bury us early, they have gone 6-2 against the A.L. Central so far. Instead of getting pummeled every fifth day when injured Cliff Lee's spot in the rotation came up, they plugged in an inspiring Fausto Carmona, who promptly proved he is major league-ready.

I'm not going to make any prophetic statements about this year's Tribe. I'm not going to say things are different. We still have a lot of issues on this club.

1. Despite having Fernando Cabrera and Rafael Betancourt in the bullpen, they are using a washed up, PAINFUL to watch Roberto Hernandez in the setup role.

2. Josh Barfield, the man they dealt hot prospect Kevin Kousmanoff for, has not shown much of anything at the plate, failing to hit his body weight most of the season.

3. Andy Marte has been a complete disaster at third base, swinging for the fences at each plate appearance a la Russell Branyan. He made up for it by booting balls all over the infield (four errors already) before mercifully taking a trip to the disabled list.

a few months from now, we could easily be saying things like, "The Indians are just 30-45 since their 16-8 start."

But for now, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

If the Larry Dolan era has taught us anything, its not to take anything for granted. Teams built on cheap budgets need a lot of breaks over the course of the season to make a serious playoff run. The Tigers, Twins and White Sox are all going to win an awful lot of baseball games this year.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't be surprised if this Indians team goes the way of countless Cleveland teams before it and the wheels come flying off the wagon at some point. But another month of baseball like they played in April and things might start to get really exciting around this town for a reason other than LeBron James.

One Hit Wonders

2007-04-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing about baseball. With such a long season, not every win is going to be pretty, but they all count the same in the standings, and if the Tribe is winning I'm happy.

Having said that, Sunday's 2-1 victory over the White Sox, ending the team's "10-game homestand" that actually featured 3 games at Jacobs Field, made for a bizarre afternoon at the ballpark.

The official game boxscore would like you to believe a crowd of just over 14,000 fans attended the ballgame. I can tell you, officials closed the ENTIRE upper deck of the stadium for the game and the lower deck was less than half full. The picture here shows evidence:

As you can see, the game is already in progress and the crowd can be generously described as "sparse." I had flashbacks to my childhood attending games in old Municipal Stadium in the '80s.

As far as the game goes, there were "42s" everywhere. It was Jackie Robinson day and several players on both teams changed their uniform numbers to "42" for the occassion.

Grady Sizemore, wearing number 42, led off the bottom of the first inning by ripping a double to right field - and that was it. No other Indian player managed a base hit the rest of the game.

In the words of Harry Doyle, "One hit?" "That's all we got is one G** D*** hit?!"

Somehow - thanks to masterful pitching by Sabathia and the four butchers the White Sox call infielders kicking the ball all over the field - the Tribe managed to steal and ugly 2-1 win making me 1-0 on the season in games attended.

Despite the lack of offense Sunday, the Tribe took two of three from the division rival Sox for the second time this season already. They ran their record to 6-3 as they travel to New York to begin a tough series in Yankee Stadium.

Lets quickly run down my likes and dislikes so far in the young season.

Likes: PITCHING! Tribe pitchers held a potent White Sox lineup to just one run over the final two games of the season. In fact, the only pitchers who have just looked bad so far are a washed up Roberto Hernandez (what did you expect) and Fausto Carmona (probably still traumatized from his closing stint disaster last year). Unfortunately, Wedge seems to think Pops Hernandez makes a better setup man than the unhittable Fernando Cabrera.

Dislikes: SITUATIONAL HITTING. I don't know what the Indians are hitting with the bases loaded so far this year, but its gotta be something like 0 for 19. I've never seen a team squander so many bases loaded chances as this team. You cannot win consistently all season doing that. They don't move runners along or sacrifice nearly as often as they need to.

I'm a little concerned about Andy Marte coming down with Russbranyanitis - the disease when you literally try to hit every pitch you see out of the area code. It normally results in a batting average around the .208 mark. He needs to shorten his swing and "settle" for base hits every now and then.

As I've mentioned before, hate Roberto Hernandez in our bullpen. We have some good arms out there (Cabrera, Mastny). I just hope it doesn't take until August, and countless blown ballgames, before Hernandez is either moved from the setup role or released altogether. He scares the shit out of me.

***

Final note on the Jake Westbrook signing. I'm torn, on one hand it is so good to see Dolan spend some money, I almost feel bad for offering any criticism. On the other hand, $11 mill per for a career 3-4 starter seems a tad excessive. That contract set up Sabathia to demand something in the $15-18 million a year range. I'm guessing that is not a price tag the Tribe will even consider. In other words, enjoy C.C. while you can Tribe fans!

Milwaukee Conspiracy

2007-04-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else NOT surprised Major League Baseball has conveniently scheduled the Indians/Angels series to take place in Milwaukee's Miller Park while Jacobs Field ground crews continue to thaw the field in Cleveland?

Many of you are either too young to remember or just not aware, but this isn't the first time the slick city of Milwaukee has made inappropriate advances towards our beloved Tribe.

The year was 1989 and a blockbuster movie entitled "Major League" was in theatres. The movie depicted a fictional scenario in which the real life Indians finally broke their long pennant drought, only in Hollywood's version, they did it with a complete roster turnover consisting of players initially handpicked to lose.

Anyways, something was not quite right about the game scenes in the Major League - THEY WERE FILMED IN MILWAUKEE!

I'm not sure why exactly, the producers of Major League chose old County Stadium in Milwaukee to film the game scenes instead of decrepit Municipal Stadium - the Tribe's home at the time. But one thing is for sure, 18 years later the smooth-talking seductress, better known as the city of Milwaukee is at it again.

Oh sure, on the surface Milwaukee looks like the hero. Swooping in to assist the city of Cleveland in its time of need. I'm not buying it, there are ulterior motives at play here.

Sure, Cleveland may not be as sexy a city as Milwaukee. They think they can lure our ballplayers with their lively night life and beautifully exotic women. But it only takes one trip to Milwaukee to realize something is just not right about the natives.

I, for one, would never trust a city where the citizens wear hats made of cheese.

Lost in all the mix is the fact Milwaukee actually has its OWN baseball team, the Brewers, who have been so bad in recent years, apparently Milwaukeeans have completely forgotten they exist!

Either that, or Milwaukee, in all its arrogance, is placing itself on a level playing field with New York and Chicago, cities that house two professional baseball teams. Of course a quick check of the populations of the three cities shows just how silly and overzealous Milwaukeeans truly are.

New York - 8.1 million people

Chicago - 2.8 million people

Milwaukee - 578,000 schemers

So I'm just going to say it once and for all. Speaking for all Clevelanders, BACK OFF Milwaukee! Our Indians are there for one series and one series only, don't get any funny ideas!

In other news, I went to Opening Day. It wasn't exactly pleasant event. Unless your definition of "pleasant" is freezing your a** off in Jacobs Field for six hours to see a disjointed four innings of something resembling baseball.

Winter Haven trip report '07

2007-03-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sure it took me 20 years, but this week I finally made it to Cleveland Indians Spring Training!

Accompanied by my fiance Kourtney and good friend Mark, who happens to be a dreadful Red Sox fan, I attended Wednesday's game in Winter Haven against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Let me first say, several strange feelings while attending a Spring Training baseball game.

First off, as you enter the small town of Winter Haven, Fla., you see Cleveland Indians banners hanging from street light posts around town. Can't quite describe how odd a sight that is in some obscure Florida town some 1000 miles from downtown Cleveland.

We were ushered into the parking lot by about three of Winter Haven's finest in what looked more like a high school football game traffic than anything to do with professional baseball.

As we entered Chain Of Lakes Park, we are greated by a sign announcing Tribe legend Bob Feller is signing autographs during the first hour of the game. I decided to pass on the idea as the line was at least 25 people deep and Indians starter C.C. Sabathia was making the last of his warm-up pitches.

We were making our way to our seats as the game began and before we even sat down, Toronto leadoff hitter Reed Johnson sent a rocket off Sabathia's arm, ending the afternoon for the man who is slated to start Opening Day.

Now here is the greatest thing I can say about Spring Training. Chain Of Lakes Park is a smaller, more intimate venue than what the Akron Aeros play in. It is the equivelant of watching a band like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers play in one of the the smaller bars in the Flats.

Our seats were six rows behind the Toronto dugout. From that amazing vantage point, I could notice several of the Blue Jays players are extremely well-built. Both Reed Johnson and catcher Gregg Zaun have forearms that would make Popeye jealous. I'm not one to throw around steroid accusations, I'm just saying.

A funny moment came in the bottom of the first inning. After Grady Sizemore lined out to center to lead off, Jason Michaels made his way to the plate. I began to passionately scoff at Michaels game and curse him as a subpar left fielder that doesn't really do anything very well. Merely seconds after the conclusion of my diatribe, Michaels launched a Gustavo Chacin delivery 15 feet over the left field wall for a towering homerun.

Seconds after the ball landed over the wall, Mark replied with "You were saying?"...Ouch.

So here are some quick notes I took away from the game, which ended in a 3-2 Tribe victory on a clutch RBI single by Mike Rouse, who has apparently made the final roster as a utility player.

1. After Sabathia left, Tom Mastny was forced to hurriedly warm up and enter the game in an emergency situation. He struggled a bit early but settled down and pitched pretty well. After him the rest of the Tribe hurlers, including Aaron Fultz, Rafael Betancourt and Joe Borowski were lights out.

2. I'm still not crazy about Ryan Garko. He just looks out of shape and slow to me. Maybe its just me.

3. The Indians made SEVERAL base running blunders, including botching THREE hit and runs leading to baserunners awkwardly being gunned down as they jogged helplessly towards second base. Lets hope this stuff stays in Florida.

4. I absolutely LOVE the Trot Nixon signing. You just have to see how he carries himself on the field. The guy is a true professional and knows what it takes to win. Plus, he still has a few good years left in the tank.

5. With Trot Nixon and Dave Dellucci entering the fray, I think this is the year we see Casey Blake drop off the map. He didn't look good in either of his four at bats Wednesday and I don't think anybody can make a case for him being one of the Tribe's four best outfielders.

Well I have departed Florida, just a few days before the Indians, and have begun to mentally prepare the the start of the regular season. I already have tickets for Opening Day next Friday, so check back next weekend for my thoughts and observations on that.

Quickly on the "other teams"

A. The Cavs seem to be sleepwalking again, but trouble is on the horizen if they lose to Chicago Saturday. It could mean the difference between earning a second seed or settling for the fifth in next month's playoffs.

B. I can't even discuss this AP report about the Browns alleged interest in soon-to-be 37-year-old quarterback Trent Green. Why in God's green earth the Browns, entering year three of what could be a decades worth of the latest rebuilding project, would be interested in a washed up Green who suffered a severe concussion last season is beyond my comprehension. If they are trying to get me on the Brady Quinn bandwagon, another story like this one might just do the trick!

Browns signings and more...

2007-03-03T21:32:00.000-08:00

- First of, LOVE the Eric Steinbach signing. Anytime you can replace one of the five below-average offensive linemen the Browns start with an above-average lineman; I'm all for it. Of course they tried the same strategy last year and it worked out about as well as the government's plan to lower gas prices - I'm still paying more than $2.50 a gallon at the pump and have started as many games for the Browns as LeCharles Bentley.

- I realize options were slim, but the news of the re-signing of "Hostess" Hank Fraley was disheartening to say the least. Anybody who has attended a game and seen how unflattering a football uniform looks on that man will not soon forget the alarming sight. He has passionate love handles with a gut more suited for flipping brats at a tailgate party than actually playing in the game on Sundays.

- The Cavs are doing their "beat the bad teams, come up short against the good teams" routine again. I just don't see anything in this team that makes me believe they are anything but another second-round exit this year. There is really no point in watching them play Detroit, Miami or Washington or any of the top four Western Conference teams on the road, unless you are some kind of a sick masochist or something.

- Spring Training baseball is pretty stupid. It is amazing how players differ on Spring vs. regular season performances. Some guys like Paul Byrd will toss goose eggs all through March, then surrender more earned runs in his first two starts of the regular season. Other guys are more consistent. Rafael Betancourt is a good example, although the home runs he surrenders in the Spring don't seem to travel as far over the fence as the regular season taters.

Some pitchers work on their change-up during spring, Betancourt works on getting his neck muscles limber for another long summer of watching opposing hitters smack his 89-MPH "heaters" as if the pitch insulted their mothers.

Having said all that, I will be attending a day of Tribe Spring Training in a couple weeks. Look for an update with pics when I return home.

The Number 23

2007-02-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of chatter on columns and blogs recently about LeBron's play this season.

To sum it up, the general consensus agrees the "chosen one" is coasting through the year excerting somewhere between 50 and 60 percent effort.

Many theories have arisen regarding this disturbing trend, but mostly, I believe it is a combination of several factors.

Has LeBron really had a chance to breathe since he was selected by the Cavs as the number one overall pick in the draft? Between commercials, television appearances, awards shows, cameos, Hollywood parties, USA basketball committments and oh by the way; playing an 82-game NBA schedule every season, it has really been non-stop four straight years.

Its enough to wear down even a 22-year old.

But I believe it is more than fatigue. I don't believe LeBron possesses the same drive to win that players such as Michael Jordan or Larry Bird had. Not even close actually.

Don't get me wrong, LeBron wants to win, I just question whether he is willing to do the types of things the aforementioned were to get there.

Can you ever imagine LeBron showing up at Quicken Loans Arena 6 hours before the game to jog through the empty stands as Bird did? How about shooting thousands of jumpers after practice after his teammates have long since gone home?

To LeBron, not unlike countless other spectacular talents of this generation, players like Vince Carter or Tracy McGrady, an NBA championship isn't necessarily the ultimate prize anymore.

Sure, Dwyane Wade has a nice championship ring, but LeBron has millions more dollars coming in from endorsement deals. LeBron is a higher profile draw with the Hollywood types. LeBron is more likely to be seen hanging out with rappers like Jay-Z.

To many of the young NBA superstars, LeBron has already won. So why spend countless hours trying to make champions out of people like Damon Jones and Donyell Marshall?

Its true I do not have access to the Cavalier practice facility, nor visual evidence that LeBron is not focused when it comes to basketball, but would a focused player be shooting an abysmal 68 % from the free throw line?

Is it acceptable for one of the top five players in the league to only rank seventh on his team in foul shots? How about 127th in the league, percentage points behind sharpshooting New Jersey Nets backup center, Mikki Moore.

The combination of sloppy play with a almost-obvious lack of urgency displayed by LeBron most of the season has carried over to the rest of the team. Now, the team that won 50 games last season could easily miss out on home court advantage in the first round of the Eastern Conference playoffs. And this in a season with no major injuries or any other obstacles.

Is it all LeBron's fault?

No.

It also appears coach Mike Brown is in WAY over his head.

But one thing remains true, when he cares, LeBron is still capable of doing some amazing things on the court and carrying the team on his shoulders, as evidenced by last seasons playoff victory over the Wizards.

Time will tell is LeBron is merely saving himself for a stronger postseason run this year, or simply has nothing left in the tank.

An energy-free Q.

2007-02-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, I have recently returned to the area after an eight-year absence. While I have followed our beloved teams religiously the entire time I was in the military, being able to experience the games in person again is almost like a new experience.

The last live sporting event I attended was a University of Alabama football game at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Ala.

For those who may not know, the Crimson Tide is pretty much the Boston Red Sox of college football. Their fans are wildly passionate, nearly to a fault. As a true sports fan, the experience I shared with more than 92,000 other fans that day was a memorable one.

That day I remember telling my fiance, a huge Tide fan, about the passion of the Cleveland fans for their teams. When she moved up here in December with me, I could hardly wait for her to experience the fans that sold out 455 straight Indians games and created the infamous "Dawg Pound" of the 80's.

Something strange has happened, however. Somewhere between the mid -90s and now, the experience of attending a Cleveland sporting event has changed drastically.

I grew up going to Cavs games at the old Richfield Coliseum. My most vivid memories include the entire arena standing and yelling "threeeee" in unison as Mark Price would launch another one of his signature bombs from beyond the arc. That soon following by the muffled roar after the ball swished through the net. I remember screaming as loud as I could, and yet still feeling as if nobody could hear me amidst the defeaning roar.

Things are quite different at the Quicken Loans Arena. For one, if I were to scream as loud as I could, I would be fearful of the disdainful looks I might draw from nearby spectators. And yes, I called them "spectators" not fans.

I realize the Cavs had some rough years after the Price-Daugherty-Nance trio left, but with LeBron and Dan Gilbert has come a reasonable amount of success and the Cavs are now a legitimate playoff team.

I have attended three games at the "Q," one of them against the Golden State Warriors, a game LeBron missed with a toe injury.

Now I realize LeBron is the marquis player and face of the organization, but the energy level in the building that night was downright appalling. The response to one Donyell Marshall jumper would not have been out of line at a funeral service.

I know somebody will inevitably make the ticket price excuse, but its not like the Gunds were giving tickets away during the Richfield days. Tribe tickets during the first five seasons at Jacobs Field were neither cheap, nor easy to come by for the blue-collar fan, yet the fans produced several late inning roars that carried the Tribe to victories.

I can't blame Dan Gilbert for his admirable attempts the inject life into the fanbase. There is an awful lot going on during a Cavs game. On the court during pregame festivities, you have cheerleaders, the mascot, a bunch of hip-hop kids called the "Scream Team" dancing around, usually some sort of youth group wearing white t-shirts all attempting to avoid bumping into each other as the players - who look out of place at this point - prepare to play the game.

But it apparently takes more than marketing gimmicks to bring the passion back to the Cleveland fans.

While I was serving in the military, I was notorious for bragging about the passion of the Cleveland fans as I moved around the country. As it stands now, I can no longer make that claim.

I guess one cannot understate the toll 43 championship-free years can have on a city that already struggles with an inferiority complex.

Opening Day 2007

2007-02-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

It is finally going to happen, and just months before my thirtieth birthday.

After 20 years as a Cleveland Indians fan, I have purchased tickets to attend my first ever Home Opener.

Yes, I finally get to experience watching a baseball game in thermals, a knit hat and a parka.

Of course, opening day has lost some of it's luster since the Indians have fallen after a string of postseason appearances the Tribe enjoyed from the mid-nineties until 2001.

But none of that matters, opening day is an event!

Its a time to see the new faces that will fill out the lineup. Unfamiliar names who will soon undoubtedly become subject of one of my signature profanity-laced tirades after a booted ball or strikeout.

Opening Day is also a time to see some old faces, some of which inspire as much enthusiasm from fans as patients in the waiting room of the local proctologist.

No matter what happened last season. Despite all the disappointment, frustration and heartbreak. Opening Day brings the promise of a fresh start, a clean slate.

Sometimes makes you wish life were more like baseball.

This is what fun feels like

2006-12-03T21:07:00.000-08:00

What a difference a week makes!

Last week at this time, I couldn't have felt worse about the Browns. They followed up the heartbreaking Steeler defeat by sleepwalking their way through a pummeling courtesy of the Bengals.

With a hot Kansas City team coming into town with their all-world running back Larry Johnson, I anticipated nothing more than another disheartening defeat and one more step closer to head coach Romeo Crennel's dismissal.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Troy Smith sweepstakes, however - the Browns won. And not just won, but pulled off perhaps the most unexpected win since the return in '99.

Coming into Sunday, there wasn't a more shaky position on the Browns roster than quarterback. Not that Charlie Frye doesn't belong in the NFL, but the jury is certainly out on just how good the Akron alum will become in this league. Moreover, behind Frye on the depth chart is nothing but unproven commodities who haven't inspired confidence in Cleveland sportswriters or Browns fans.

When Derek Anderson replaced an injured Frye, I believe I wasn't alone in my morbid curiousity on what would take place next.

The Chiefs pretty much dominated the third quarter, barely giving Anderson a chance to do much of anything. By the time the young QB crouched under center for the Browns' second offensive series of the half, the Chiefs had scored two touchdowns and turned what was a tie game at halftime into a 28-14 advantage.

There was no reason to expect anything more than a steady diet of Larry Johnson to close out the game and the Chiefs would head out of town on their way to the playoffs. Unfortunately for Kansas City, somebody forgot to give Derek Anderson the script.

I was mildly amused as Anderson completed a 10-yard pass to Joe Jurevicius on third-and-5. Three plays later I sat up as a short pass to Jason Wright turned into a 54-yard jail-break down to the K.C. 6.

Moments later Anderson fired a touchdown strike to tight end Steve Heiden to bring the Browns within a score.

Even stranger, the drive seemed to inspire the Browns defense, famous for crapping out at the end of games, now stopped the Chiefs and Johnson, earning the offense a chance to tie the game with 5 minuted remaining.

After solid runs from Josh Cribbs and Jason Wright (how about THAT guy?), Anderson scrambled for 11 yards on second-and-10 and connected a pretty shovel pass to Rueben Droughns that netted 16 more yards down to the K.C. 20 with two minutes remaining.

The red zone has been a problem area for the Browns all season long. Most trips result in either field goals or a turnover. But this time only a touchdown would suffice. A 9-yard pass to Droughns, 8-yard run by Droughns and an Anderson laser to Steven Heiden once again, and suddenly the game was tied.

I have to admit it was strange going to overtime without the feeling of pending doom. But after a Kansas City punt, Anderson remained in complete control connecting with Kellen Winslow on a 26-yard bullet that nearly took the tight end's hands off his forearms. On second-and-15 from the Chiefs 45, Anderson scrambled right, shook off a defender and lumbered down the sidelines for an astonishing 33 yards, setting up the game-winning Phil Dawson field goal.

Only time will tell whether what we saw today from Derek Anderson was a talented young quarterback taking advantage of his first opportunity as a professional, or a Kelly Holcombesque fluke attributable more to luck and circumstances than talent. With Charlie Frye allegedly done for the season, however, it appears we will get more than a sneak peak at what Mr. Anderson will bring to the table as a professional signal-caller.

It won't get any easier for Anderson as the Browns travel to Pittsburgh for a Thursday night battle with the Steelers. How fitting for us Browns fans our best game of the season comes prior to a four-day week with an unusual Thursday game.

I guess celebrating a great win for only three days is better than the alternative.

Can't stop the bleeding

2006-11-29T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'd first like to apologize to my readers (all 3 of you!) for not posting in quite some time. I don't really have a legitimate excuse other than the fact I moved during the last week of October.

In reality I'm just tired. Not physically tired, but mentally exhausted by Cleveland sports. Let me briefly give you my rundown on the state of our teams as painlessly as possible, after which you are all free to go.

BROWNS:

If you refer back to my last blog, I corrected predicted the demise of Mo Carthon. Now I'm calling for Romeo's head.

I have nothing against Crennel personally. He seems like a great guy, but I don't believe he has the first clue about what he's doing as a head coach in the National Football League.

The effort, while stellar in the Steelers game, has been widely uninspiring across the board most of the season. The Browns don't seem to have a glaring talent deficiency like in previous seasons, however every opponent seems to just do everything better than we do.

We spend all afternoon watching Droughs/Wright/Harrison getting stuffed for short gains on running plays and then witness Rudi Johnson galloping through gaping holes in our defense.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the 3-4 defense has not accomplished it's desired goals, unless of course those goals were to allow opponents to execute 8-9 yard gains consistently and drive the length of the field at will in the fourth quarter. In that case, its doing fine.

The team has been nothing but a mess since 1999 and there is no reason to believe the "new" Cleveland Browns will be anything but "Arizona Cardinals-East."

INDIANS:

Its that time of year again. The time when teams begin snatching up free agents and Tribe owner Larry Dolan heads into his bunker to emerge sometime around opening day. So far, the Indians have netted journeyman Dave Dellucci. Excuse me if I'm not logging onto MLB.com to order my "Dellucci" jersey, but unless he has a hidden talent of being able to save 35 games as a closer, I don't see how Mr. Dellucci will make much of a difference in the standings.

It may be a tad shortsighted to believe the Indians will hold fast with the Dellucci signing. I'm sure they will add a few more free agents, its just I'm expecting nothing but more mediocrity from the penny-pinching Dolan's wallet.

I would love the Indians to prove me wrong and pick up an impact pitcher this offseason. Until it happens I'm expecting more of the same, ho hum.

CAVALIERS:

I know the city is locked in a passionate love affair with this team right now, but I have to be honest, I'm not overly impressed.

I still think the Ilgauskas re-signing will weigh the Cavaliers down like a steel anchor for years to come. We could have had a guy like Nazr Mohammed for far cheaper, and he can actually run the floor!

Just like the other Cleveland "teams," the Cavaliers just look uninspired. They are going to win some games solely on the fact LeBron is on the roster, but does anyone believe this team got better from last year?

And yes, I believe we had a right to expect them to improve on a season in which they may have overachieved. If you are able to reach that far into the playoffs, the next season's goal should be nothing short of a title.

Nothing about the Cavs says "title" to me right now. They struggle getting defensive stops in crunch-time. They seriously lack crunch-time scoring options not named LeBron or the occassionally hot Damon Jones. When Ilgauskas is in the lineup its like draggin grandma and her walker to Disney World, he just slows everybody down from having a good time.

As frustrated as I get with the Cavs, I still think they are one player away from becoming title contenders. Unfortunately the type of player they need is difficult to come by. They need an attitude guy, much like a Charles Barkley or Sam Cassell. Veteran guys that know what needs to be done to win and aren't afraid to get in a teammates face to let them know about it.

Right now, the Cavs roster looks like a intramural frat team. They all seem to get along too well. Remember several of Michael Jordan's Bulls teammates hated him, but they also respected him.

Well that's enough for now. I hate the sports in this city right now. Its not just bad, its dismal. Games are depressing to watch and the pleasure sports used to bring me a a youth just doesn't seem to exist.

And if it doesn't

GO BUCKEYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's bad...and then there's BAD!

2006-09-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

How could a Browns fan ever be arrogant? Especially after what has transpired in the last decade. If ever there was a fan base that had zero reason to carry a sense of entitlement, it is the Browns fans.

And yet, despite all this, I actually expected the Browns to take care of business Sunday. Afterall, it was the Saints, who finished an abysmal 3-13 last season. Reggie Bush is a nice addition, but he's just one guy and was playing in his first professional football game.

The Saints were riddled with holes last season. Sure they had to deal with unsurmountable circumstances after Hurricane Katrina hit, but make no mistake, this was a BAD football team.

Not Sunday however. Sunday they came to Cleveland Browns stadium, kicked down the door, and had their way with our women and children. By the time they boarded the plane back to New Orleans, there was nothing left but piles of smoldering rubble.

In fairness, there is some talent on the field for the Browns, something we haven't had much of in the past. But the offensive line, LeCharles Bentley or not, is absolutely brutal. Five fat slobs struggling just to get into their three-point stances, probably grunting and groaning simultaneously.

The penalties were not just plentiful, but amazingly ill-timed. Cancelling one touchdown and what would have been a huge fourth down conversion.

The play calling and personnel decisions raised more questions than an episode of Jeopardy. Who was that Vickers guy running the ball on crucial third and shorts? Do we not have about 35 options better than him? Even the old, sturdy end-around to Dennis Northcutt would have fared better.

Now that the Browns have dropped one of the few games I chalked up as a "W" before the season, they are in serious trouble of entering the number one overall draft pick sweepstakes.

With a trip to Cincinnati Sunday, followed by the Ravens and then trips to Oakland and Carolina after that, it would almost take an act of Congress for the team to be any better than 1-4 by the bye week. With the rest of the AFC North sitting at 1-0 after impressive opening week wins, that would pretty much do it for yet another disappointing season.

Now the question remains, if they Browns find themselves eliminated by the first of November once again, who is the fall guy?

Phil Savage? probably not, see Roger Brown's column in todays PD for the reasoning on that.

Romeo? Possibly, but I still think he gets one more year regardless.

Mo Carthon? I'd be surprised if he makes it through the season.

Keep your heads up Browns fans, we've been through this routine before. If you're not tough, you're not a Cleveland fan.

You just wonder when it all will mercifully end.

'Invincible' reviewed

2006-08-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

Sports bigamy is a serious offense.

I actually can't think of a worse crime a sports fan can commit. And I'm not talking about writing your home team off for a viable reason - much like I have done to the Indians this year - I'm talking about writing the Indians off and rooting for the Red Sox. You just DON'T do that.

Having said that, I can specifically think of one glaring example when sports bigamy would be acceptable. If you have a close friend, high school or college teammate or a relative who plays for another team in any sport, then and ONLY then is it acceptable to root against your home team.

For example, If one of my high school teammates at Midpark had gone on to play for the Detroit Lions, it would be perfectly acceptable for me to root for said teammate when the Lions came to Cleveland for a game.

Why am I explaining all this? Because this subject happens to be my one stinging criticism of the movie, 'Invincible' - thats why.

Without spoiling the movie for anyone, a love interest of Vince Papale, played by Mark Wahlberg, is a Giants fan from New York. Nothing wrong with that. But when she attends a game in which Papale is PLAYING FOR the Eagles, donning Giants gear and rooting for the men in blue obnoxiously amidst chagrined Eagles fans, that is about as tasteless as Wheaties with no sugar sprinkled on them.

As far as the rest of the movie goes, it was very well done. I loved the feel of city life in Philadelphia circa 1975-76. Greg Kinnear turns in a fantastic portrayal of Dick Vermeil - as chef Gordon Ramsey would say, "Spot on!"

The game scenes were spectacular. My heart hate was significantly elevated during certain points.

It didn't spark my emotions quit like Rudy did, a movie Invincible has most commonly been compared to. But it did have a few Bill Simmons' "chill scenes."

As far as historical accuracy goes, the filmakers didn't seem to take too many liberties to add dramatic effect. While watching clips of the real Papale at the culmination of the movie, however, I noticed Papale was rather tall and lanky. When I looked him up later, I found out he was actually 6 foot 2 inches tall. Its kind of a stretch to have a 5 foot 8 Wahlberg, who is built more like a running back than a receiver, playing him.

Other than that, it was difficult to find much else to complain about. True sports fans will always approach sports flicks with a hint of skepticism. But "Invincible" does not disappoint. It didn't approach "Rudy" proportions for me, but certainly an enjoyable football movie that did not make me cringe like past duds such as "Any Given Sunday" or "The REplacements."

final rating: 8.5 out of 10.

Dawg days of August (greatest Browns)

2006-08-07T16:04:00.000-07:00

Now that we have reached that annual lull between the excitement of the start of training camp, the obligatory "only in Cleveland" devastating injury and the first game of the regular season, I thought I would take a break to do something fun.

This year, I am celebrating my 20th year as a Browns fan. And no, that doesn't mean I'm 20 years old. I'm not one of those morons that equate their amount of time on this planet with years of fandom. I obviously wasn't rooting for the Browns in between diaper changings and naps when I was a baby.

1986 was the first season I followed the Browns. Yes it was the season that culminated in "The Drive." Which means my second full season lead to "The Fumble." You think I wasn't a bitter young man?

Anyways, I thought I would come up with the top 3 Browns at each position of the last 20 years, or my fan lifetime. This way the list will only include players I actually watched play. Plus, don't tell me you don't get bored with all the Jim Brown, Otto Graham dominated lists. Those guys were great and deserve reverance, but their history is becoming ancient. Jim Brown may as well have played with a leather helmet and a sweater at this point.

Well enough babbling, lets get it started:

Quarterback:

1. Bernie Kosar
2. Vinny Testaverde
3. Tim Couch

How jarring is it that Tim Couch is the Browns' third best QB of the past two decades? Now I don't think Timmy was nearly as bad as some people, but he pretty much wins the spot by default, other candidates include: Mike Pagel, Todd Philcox, Doug Pederson, Spurgeon Wynn, Kelly Holcomb and Jeff Garcia. Thats a list of stiffs that makes the county morgue jealous.

Running Back:

1. Kevin Mack
2. Eric Metcalf
3. Earnest Byner

This category was T-U-F-F tough! I wanted to drop Byner out because he choked in one of the most significant games of my childhood, but like Earnest scoring the touchdown, I just couldn't do it. Rueben Droughns was fantastic last year, but he needs at least two seasons to make the list. Leroy Hoard was the closest to Byner, but I was surprised to discover he only really had one standout year with the Browns, rushing for 890 yards in 1994. Amazingly, Hoard scored 36 career touchdowns - he was wearing a Minnesota Vikings helmet for 23 of them. Honorable metion: Herman Fontenot

Wide Receiver:

1. Webster Slaughter
2. Kevin Johnson
3. Brian Brennan

Another tough one that I'm sure I'll receive much feedback on. Slaughter and KJ were gimmes. Johnson, if for nothing more than the fact he put up more than 900 yards and 8 touchdowns during the dreadful '99 expansion season. I chose Brennan over Mike Jackson and my personal favorite, Reggie Langhorne for different reasons. Jackson because he always suffered from the dropsies, despite his big play ability. Also, he waited until 1996, or first with the RAVENS, to have a breakout year with career highs in yards and touchdowns.

Langhorne and Brennan were both secondary options behind Slaughter, but Brennan had the best hands on the team. For any third and short passing situation, Brennan was THE guy. Guys with hands like his are valuable even in today's game.

Tight End:

1. Ozzie Newsome
2. Steve Heiden
3. Brian Kinchen

Yes you read that right, Brian Kinchen. After moving from long snapper, Kinchen actually enjoyed three respectable seasons between '93-'95. Truth is, after The Wizard, it gets pretty thin at TE. I kicked around names like Scott Galbraith and Aaron Shea, but could not, in good conscience, put then on the list. Honorable mention goes to Mark Bavaro, who was good, but played just one vaguely memorable year in Cleveland.

Offensive Lineman:

1. Mike Baab
2. Tony Jones
3. Cody Risien

You don't truly appreciate these guys until you don't have them anymore. The three above were mainstays and left gaping holes once they left. Honorable mention goes to Dan Fike and Steve Everett. The latter mainly because he wore the Browns do-rag under his Ravens helmet in 1996. Now THAT, my friends is loyalty and class.

Kicker:

1. Phil Dawson
2. Matt Bahr
3. Matt Stover

Dawson has had quite a long stint as the Browns kicker. Not only is he fairly consistent, but he has proved time and again he is actually a "football player" as well. He will readily dive into a wave of opponents to grab an onside kick or put his head down and dive across the goalline on a fake field goal. Yes, Philly does it all.

I hated to include Stover, a guy who has done so much for the Ravens, but other than those three, you are looking at Jerry Kauric and Mark Moseley?

So that is it for the offense. I will do the defense tomorrow. Now I strongly encourage anybody who disagrees to voice your opinion. Lists like these are completely subjective. I don't claim to be the authority on all things Cleveland, so please, challenge me.

Disgusted

2006-07-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

There is a reason I waited 24 hours to post regarding the LeCharles Bentley injury.

Had I posted yesterday, it would have amounted to nothing more than a profanity-laced diatribe, making me sound even more bitter and jaded than normal - something I don't need.

How ironic, the day Bud Shaw writes a column in the Plain Dealer about Bentley's value. A couple days after I swear off the local baseball team to focus on the Browns and LeBrons. Now, just like that, the Browns are all but finished for the eighth time in as many seasons since returning.

Am I overreacting? Teams often can recover from such injuries right?

the answer, as always in Cleveland, is no.

I don't know if I believe in curses. I do believe in God but aren't sure he is making a concerted effort to torment the fans of Cleveland, the case made by another popular Cleveland blog (a very entertaining one at that).

What I'm trying to say is I simply cannot explain Cleveland sports. I can't explain a string of crushing defeats, dubious injuries, lame-brained leadership and pure bad luck that stretches as far as the eye can see.

Many Clevelanders worry about never seeing a championship in their lifetimes. A championship that would mean a thousand times more to this city than any other in the country.

Personally, I have progressed passed that point. I now assume I will never see one and have begun the process of reprioritizing my life to lessen the impact Cleveland sports has on it.

I know, this stuff sounds like something Dr. Phil would say, but what true fan of Cleveland sports of at least the last 15 years couldn't use a little Dr. Phil at this point?

So what now for Browns fans? We turn our focus to what is left for this season, the Winslows or Droughns or seeing what the rookies will bring to the table. But secretly, we wait for the next inevitable sports disaster because that is what we do in Cleveland these days.

And unless you are old enough to remember Jim Brown's playing days, that may be the only thing you ever do.

I'm tired

2006-07-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

Thats right, the Indians have finally done me in.

We all know they are horrible. We all know how Mark Shapiro butchered the offseason. We all know how cheap Larry Dolan is.

There is simply nothing else to say about this team. For the first time since the late 80s, they have taken a back seat to the Browns and Cavaliers in the city's collective heart, and rightfully so.

So really, there is nothing else to say. So from this point out, I am placing a gag order on myself from dealing with the Indians until the offseason manuevering begins. It will be all Browns and Cavs from here on out!

I look to make a relevant Browns post soon, followed by a Browns "Training Camp preview", as only I can bring (i.e. this won't be anything you will read in Tony Grossi's column).

Second-half SURGE!

2006-07-13T17:28:00.000-07:00

The Tribe begins the second half of the season tonight looking to duplicate the spirited late-season run of last season that left them a game short of the playoffs.

All season Eric Wedge has been telling us the team's best baseball was ahead of them (it certainly couldn't be any worse!) and how there was pleeeenty of time. Its a marathon, not a sprint, Wedge cautioned.

Well, to make the playoffs the Indians would have to be no worse than second place in the AL Central, which would mean passing up either the Tigers or the White Sox.

First lets look at the Tigers, who have played .670 ball through the first 88 games of the year. If Detroit stays consistent, they are on pace to finish up at 108-54. For the Tribe to finish ahead of them and take the division, they would simply need to go 69-7 the rest of the way. PIECE OF CAKE! I mean they could lose two games a month the rest of the season and STILL have one loss left over. I'm sure they will have no trouble playing that kind of baseball. Gosh Eric Wedge is smart.

Just in case, however, something goes awry. Perhaps our prized offseason free agent signing Paul Byrd DOESN'T break Orel Herschiser's record 59 scoreless inning streak or Aaron Boone doesn't finish the season at a .450 clip. We would need to set our sights on more humble goals - the White Sox. Not as hot as Detroit, the Sox are sputtering along at a .648 clip. I know, laughable. While they have been playing right into the shrewd Wedge's hands, the Sox will still finish 105-57 at the current pace.

To overtake Chicago, the Tribe would need to rattle off a cool 66-10 record. Under normal circumstances pretty tough, but as Wedge has assured us, our best baseball is ahead of us, plenty of time.

So to wrap it up, the Indians are right where they want to be. Eric Wedge has pulled the wool over the entire division's eyes and a playoff run is all but certain.

And you Dolan haters thought a championship couldn't be won on food stamps.

Tear jerker

2006-07-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

If you are a TRUE Browns fan, and are old enough to the 80s, then this clip should make you a little misty-eyed. Either that or you have no soul.

In a related note,

I'M READY FOR SOME EFFIN' FOOTBALL!!!

LeBron signs!

2006-07-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

Imagine this scenario:

You have been enduring one of the worst weeks you can remember. Your personal life is a mess, your finances are shaky and it is all capped off by a horrendous day at work in which your boss called you into his office to have a "talk."

So you are driving home from work, mind thoroughly preoccupied with the bleak state of your life, when some moron blows through a red light of an intersection you just happen to be entering. Fortunately, you notice this just in time to slam the brakes, narrowly averting a potentially serious accident.

Now many of us would have different reactions to such an event, but none of which would be throwing the car in park, getting out and joyously celebrating in the middle of the street.

Where am I going with this you ask helplessly?

Well, this scenario represents how I felt when I heard LeBron James has decided to accept the Cavaliers five-year extension keeping him in Cleveland until at least 2013.

Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy about this, but it's just more of a "disaster averted"-type thing than a "pop the champaign"-type thing.

For one, as Clevelanders we know NOTHING is for certain. As much as LeBron is compared to Jordan and the "experts" say it is almost inevitable he will bring championships to Cleveland, we know better.

This is the city Bill Belichick couldn't figure out how to win. This is the city that saw a 100-44 baseball team - maybe the best team of the last half-century that didn't win a title- look OVERMATCHED in the 1995 World Series. This is the city that saw it's football team lose in the AFC championship game three out of four years, to the SAME TEAM.

In Cleveland, NOTHING is certain, nothing is for sure. This contract by no means guarantees us a championship, but it does guarantee we will have a basketball team in three years.

I mean, can you imagine the Cavaliers and the city post-LeBron? Imagine attending a game at the Q when the featured attractions are a broken down Ilgauskas and an overmatched Larry Hughes desperately trying to finish his contract? Can you imagine the Cavs returning to 29-53 type seasons while LeBron thrives alongside Kobe in Los Angeles?

Fortunately, the disaster was averted and we won't have to imagine such things, at least until 2013.

Some other thoughts on the goings on in the sports world:

What is left to say about the Indians at this point? I can remember sitting through some torturous games and seasons back at old Munie in the 80's, yet I simply cannot recall feeling so disillusioned about a Tribe team. Just the other day I had to ask my friend who pitched for the Indians the previous night. Prior to this season, that happened about never. It just feels as though Larry Dolan has sucked the fan right out of me. When you get to the point you don't want certain players to do TOO well because they will undoubtedly receive a better contract elsewhere, you know your team has shitty ownership, plain and simple.
Not too make any excuses for the Indians this year, but how brutal is the AL Central? Do you realize the Minnesota Twins are sitting in third place, 11 games out of first at 47-38 with possibly the two best starting pitchers in the American League right now? And guess who isn't nearly as bad as people thought? Thats right, the Kansas City Royals. Considering the lack of stars on the roster and how they started the season, for them to be 31-55 while playing the Tigers, White Sox and Twins most of the year is pretty impressive. Put it this way, if you placed the Royals in a division with Tampa Bay, Seattle, Pittsburgh and the Cubs, do you honestly think they finish any worse than second?
I'm getting increasingly excited about the Browns this year, and mostly for one man - Kellen freaking Winslow. Call me crazy, but when I think about all the Browns and Cavaliers draft picks over the last 20 years (since the MLB draft is about 70 rounds too long for any rational human being to hold any interest), Only three picks REALLY stand out in my memory: Tim Couch because it was the first of the new Browns, LeBron James for obvious reasons and Kellen Winslow Jr. I realize Winslow has struggled with minor details like "getting on the field" in his first two years, but let's not forget how good this guy was at Miami. Neither Tony Gonzalez nor Antonio Gates even approached the level of play at the tight end position that Winslow Jr. did in college. I'm optimistic his raw talent will still translate to the pro game, this year even.
Finally, am I the only one sick of ESPN trying to dictate what I should be watching? To say they went overboard with the World Cup coverage would be the understatement of the decade. Most people will be shocked to realize the World Cup took place in 2002 as well. Don't remember it? Probably because ESPN wasn't shoving it down our throats back then. Why they decided on "all-out blitz" for WC coverage this year is beyond me. It wasn't even the games that really bothered me, it was having to listen to personalities such as Mike Golic's pathetic feigned excitement about a United States/Ghana matchup. Give me a freaking break.

Ilgauskas will haunt Cavaliers

2006-07-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

The Chicago Bulls signed our man.

Well, he would have been our man had Cavaliers general manager Danny Ferry not foolishly resigned overrated center Zydrunas Ilguaskas last offseason.

Its a move that may haunt the Cavaliers for years to come and may cost them LeBron James. Not only are Ilgauskas' best days behind him as he acts more of a hindrance than a piece to a championship puzzle. But his bloated and undeserved contract give the Cavs little flexibility to manuever under the salary cap - hence making the possibility of landing Ben Wallace impossible.

How Ferry has spent his entire life around basketball and was unable to see "Z" was and is a horrible fit for this team is unfathomable. To make it worse, as bad of a fit Ilgauskas is, is as good of a fit Wallace would have been.

The Cavaliers do not need scoring from the center position, but rather a defensive presence and someone to clean the glass - precisely how Ben Wallace has earned a living in the NBA.

In addition, Wallace is athletic and quickly gets up and down the floor to match LeBron's preferred style of play.

Ilgauskas, on the other hand, is slow and clumsy and is consistently the LAST guy down the floor on fast breaks.

Wallace is active around the basket, offering excellent help defense and crashing the boards with an attitude. Ilgauskas is soft and prefers to plant his feet 10 feet from the hoop with his back to the basket and is often boxed out by players much shorter than him.

Wallace joins a Bulls team that stood toe-to-toe with the Heat in the playoffs THIS year and features a plethora of young talent. The Bulls have quickly replaced the Cavs as the hot team to watch for next season.

And the Cavs are left with tired old Z. I doubt the Cavs could ever seriously contend for a title with Ilgauskas the player. I'm positive the Cavs can't contend for a title with the Ilgauskas contract weighing them down like a steel anchor.

Lets just hope LeBron James doesn't feel the same way.

The Mota won't start!!

2006-06-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

Why don't they care?

That is what I want to know. Why do the players on the Indians roster seem to be going through the motions with little interest in the proceedings on the field?

Is it the cheap ownership? Is it the lackluster game attendances?

It must be something, because I have been an Indians fan for 20 years and I can never remember a group of guys that looked more unmotivated than these.

The baserunning is atrocious. The defensive fundamentals are atrocious. I don't think Vic Martinez has a hit in a month and most of the time he looks like he wants to get the at bat over with so he can put his catching gear back on.

All the while, the fearless leader, Eric Wedge keeps preaching the company line - "Its early! We've got four months, PLENTY OF TIME!"

Really? At least when the Indians made their amazing two-month run last year, they looked like they gave a damn. The same can't be said for these guys.

What really kills me, who on this roster has won anything? Anything at all?

I guess I could understand Robby Alomar tanking it. He already had some rings on his fingers. But what has Ronnie Belliard done in this league to give him such a blase attitude?

The whole thing is just a mess. Mark Shapiro finally had a bad offseason. With Larry Dolan's payroll, such mistakes like the horrendous Crisp trade or the Jason Johnson signing, which would be minor inconveniences to the Yankees or Red Sox, are insurmountable, season-killing errors.

I'm not even sure what to do at this point. Do we continue to root for this team? Part of me thinks if this team somehow pulls out 85-89 wins, it will only encourage Mr. Dolan to keep his wallet firmly shut. While another part of me thinks the only way we will ever truly have a contending team is when, God-willing, the Dolans no longer own the Indians.

Cleveland sold out a 43,000 stadium for 455 straight games. The Greater Cleveland area is huge and no other city in the nation gets behind a contending team quite like ours. I've had it with the small-market talk.

If you want to call Milwaukee or Pittsburgh small-market baseball towns, thats fine. But our town? We deserve better.

The gloves are coming off..

2006-05-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

I have been biting my tongue on the Indians for quite some time now, but I simply can't do it anymore. Some things need to be said.

First of all, here's a tip for Indians management. As Cleveland fans, we have been through the ringer more than a few times. No other fan base is more equipped to deal with disappointment, and while we don't like it, we can handle it.

So don't try to Butch Davis us around and spin fantastic tales about the status of the ballclub. Mark Shapiro scolding us about getting too excited and not "seeing the big picture" is doing nothing but insulting our intelligence. You want a big picture Mark? How about 30,000 empty seats each game in September if your "brain trust" can't figure out a way to win some freaking ballgames? How's that big picture for you?

And Eric Wedge, I see you trying to sneak away from me. As for you and your incessant "it's such a long season" preaching. Just STOP! First of all, are you trying to tell us something? Is the season too long for you? Are the Indians not giving you enough vacation time?

All jokes aside, while Wedge is so busy calming the masses, his team has already dropped 15 Central Division games. Hey Eric, you don't get those games back!

It goes so much further than the 23-25 record. The team's play on the field reflects the very lackadaisical lack of urgency their manager maintains during press conferences and interviews.

Back to Shapiro for a minute. In the interest of full disclosure, I must say I was a strong Shapiro supporter at one time. I did not set my couch on fire when the Tribe traded Colon or even Alomar. I recognized the need for rebuilding and reloading the organization of prospects.

But this past offseason has really raised some questions about Shapiro's baseball acumen. I feel some lucky jackpots early in his stint have brought about an arrogance that is ultimately leading to his demise.

Shapiro struck gold a few times early on, such as the Colon trade and stealing Hafner from the Rangers for Ryan Drese and Einar Diaz. Prospects like Hafner, Cliff Lee and Grady Sizemore made such an impact, people hardly noticed how badly he missed on others moves such as signings of Scott Stewart, Jose Jimenez and Ricky Gutierrez.

To make things worse, his gamble on Kevin Millwood coming off an arm injury paid dividends and it appears Shapiro started believing his own press clippings. It all came to a head this offseason.

He arrogantly traded a "heart and soul" guy in Coco Crisp for a "can't miss" prospect who is doing a whole lot of missing at Buffalo right now. To make it worse, he replaced Crisp with an unproven crap shoot in Jason Michaels, who is about as special as yellow mustard. (I don't care what his on-base percentage was in 250 at bats last year. There is a reason Philly wasn't playing him)

Shapiro felt since the Millwood deal worked out so well last year, certainly he could strike gold on another rehab project and replace one of the best set-up men in baseball (Bob Howry) with Guillermo Mota. Yet another move that has fallen as flat as a Jason Davis fastball.

The Shapiro/Wedge team, combined with an absurdly cheap owner, seems to be on a path to destruction. Nobody seems to be happy, not the fans, not the management and not even the players.

Jhonny Peralta and Ronnie Belliard have the same look eighth graders have sitting in algebra class. Vic Martinez almost seems to be begging to be moved from catcher with each opponents stolen base. Now he can't hit or apparently run hard to first base on ground balls anymore.

The whole thing is a mess and there is plenty of blame to go around. There is no way a guy like Kenny Rogers should be wearing a Detroit uniform. Those are the kind of signings that takes a good team to the next level, not the dynamic duo of Paul Byrd and Jason Johnson.

All I know is we are coming to a critical point as Tribe fans. I know turning your back on the home team should always be the FINAL option. But are we close to that option? In 2002, we were promised great things (i.e. contending and championships) starting in 2005. Well 2005 came and went. Are we supposed to be content with a mere 93-win season and no playoffs?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not ready to go back to 77-85 seasons again. If a miserable season and countless empty seats at the Jake is going to force front office and personnel changes, then sobeit. A message needs to be sent to the organization.

This isn't the movie "Major League." We sold out 455 straight games when this team was a legitimate contender. Don't give us this small-market crap company line. The Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds, Minnesota Twins and Oakland A's all have higher payrolls than the Indians this year, along with 20 other teams.

We have two other professional sports franchise owners in Cleveland that seem to have a genuine interest in winning. If Larry Dolan and the Indians refuse to join the group, then I am left with little choice but to wash my hands of them.

For this former Viking, dreams DO come true!

2006-05-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

With all the off-field negativity surrounding professional athletes nowadays, its easy to become disillusioned with professional sports. With player salaries out of control, rookies failing to report to training camp, players switching teams on an annual basis. There are plenty of reasons for a fan to wash his or her hands of it all.

Which makes this next story and other stories like it so important. It is stories like the one I'm about to tell that remind us all why we love sports so much.

Growing up as a frisky lad in Sacramento, Calif., Onterrio Smith would seldom be seen without his football, carrying it everywhere like a mother with a newborn child. Sprinting down the aisles at the grocery store, he would pretend he was charging through pursuing linebackers en route to the end zone, always culminating in the same familiar phrase, "TOUCHDOWN BLUE BOMBERS!"

Yes, this week the childhood dream of former Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith became reality as he inked a deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the Canadian Football League.

Sure, excelling at the University of Oregon was nice. Rushing for over 1100 yards and 7 touchdowns in just nine starts over two years for the Vikings was a blessing. But Smith could never have called himself fulfilled until he had a chance to lead the blue and gold to the incomparable Grey Cup.

The Bombers said it best in an official press release that proudly stated, "The Winnipeg Blue Bombers could have the best offensive backfield tandem in the CFL this season..."
The other half of the highly touted tandem to which the Bombers are alluding is Charles Roberts, or as I like to call him, "Chucky Rob." Chucky Rob led the CFL in rushing last year with 1624 yards. Who knows how many games those stats were compiled in, but who cares!

Brendan Taman, Bombers general manager could hardly contain his excitement when he said, "Onterrio Smith is an exciting, dynamic player who will add a lot to this team."

Of course by "add a lot to this team," we can only assume he meant rushing yards and touchdowns as opposed to killer bong hitting techniques and Original Whizzinators.

There will be some who will try to label Smith harshly, claiming he has "ruined his career" and he is an "idiot" or a "pot head."

Well I say, If being kicked out of the NFL for repeatedly smoking weed only to end up as a member of the storied Winnipeg Blue Bombers franchise makes someone an idiot, then Onterrio must be an idiot.
But I choose to call him a young man who is not afraid to chase his dreams...and a killer buzz!

Florida Marlins: 2009 World Champs

2006-05-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Florida Marlins have it all figured out.
Laugh if you must. But if you can get passed the awful record and microscopic payroll, you may realize the Marlins are right on schedule.
I have these tricky Marlins all figured out. While large market giants like the Yankees and Red Sox continue to shell out hundreds of millions of dollars each year, only to fail to accomplish the ultimate goal more often than not. The Marlins stay steady to their organizational plan – Win a World Series every 6 years.
If you remember back in 1997, the Marlins defeated the Indians in the World Series with a roster that was completely loaded with talent. On the mound they featured Kevin Brown, Al Leiter, Livan Hernandez and Robb Nen. In their everyday lineup they sent out studs like Gary Sheffield, Moises Alou, Edgar Renteria, Bobby Bonilla, Jeff Conine and Devon White. Almost reads like an all-star team.
After the ’97 Championship, the Marlins promptly gutted the team. By Opening Day 1999, only Hernandez and Renteria remained from the aforementioned group. Those two would be shipped out that season.
The same grumblings could be heard then that we hear now. How the Marlins bought a championship. How they are cheating the fans and rumors of moving the franchise were rampant.
Then came 2003.
With a new stockpile of young talent mixed with a few veteran acquisitions, the Marlins once again were crowned World Champs, for the second time in the franchise’s 10-year existence. At the time, they had accomplished twice in a decade what the big market Red Sox had been striving for all of 86 years.
After 2003, the same thing.
Gone are Josh Beckett, Brad Penny, Ivan Rodriguez, Derrek Lee and Juan Pierre. But in their place is yet another impressive core of young talent. Guys like the dynamic 22 year old Hanley Ramirez, who is hitting .331 while playing a solid shortstop. Second basemen Dan Uggla, 26, is hitting .312 and center fielder Reggie Abercrombie has displayed outstanding speed and athleticism.
On the mound, the Marlins have nine pitchers aged 24 or younger. Leading the way is Dontrelle Willis, one of the few holdovers from the 2003 squad. Another holdover is all-star Miguel Cabrera; himself only 23.
Had the Marlins hung onto the five players just mentioned from the 2003 team, Beckett, Penny, Pudge, Lee and Pierre, they would be paying them a combined $35.3 million based on their 2006 salaries. As it is, the Marlins total payroll is a hair under $15 million for the entire roster, and while the won-loss record doesn’t show it yet, they are getting better.
So laugh at the Marlins now. Crack jokes about their payroll or place in the standings. But remember, this franchise is designed to strike every six years. Dontrelle Willis will be 27 when he starts game one of the 2009 World Series.
The baseball world has anointed teams like the Oakland Athletics and Minnesota Twins as prototypes for small-market success, yet I don’t see those two with any recent titles. Maybe the Marlins didn’t invent sabermetrics, but their method, as unconventional as it is, is netting rings, and is not that, after all, the ultimate goal

been a while..

2006-04-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

First let me apologize to all those who check this blog regularly. I know it has been an obscene amount of time since I last posted, but I have a legitmate reason - you have to believe me!

Anyways, I couldn't settle on one topic today, so I'm just going to post what has been on my mind recently regarding our beloved sports teams.

1. Every day I check the Indians active roster and every day I see Danny Graves name still on it. Whats it going to take? This guy is as washed up as any washed up player I have ever seen. Years from now I predict when any local athlete starts to lose it, we are going to say "Geez this guy looks like Danny Graves in '06"

2. I can't remember the last time I changed my mind about a team as quickly as the Cavs this week. After game one, I was calling friends making crazy statements like, "If Rasheed Wallace goes down early next series, you never know!" Now, I'm expecting them to drop two heartbreakers in Washington and come back to Cleveland playing for pride. Win game five for the fans and lose the series in six.

3. I don't care how many touchy feely stories they do on Gilbert Arenas, I still hate the guy.

4. I was screaming for the Indians to try Jason Davis at closer for so long, that now when he comes out of the 'pen for one of his innings where he sends all three batters down in about 8 pitches, I don't even bring it up anymore. Once again, a Cleveland team has beaten me into submission. Lets just keep rooting for the shaky fat guy approaching 40 who's had 4 arm surgeries, to close games.

5. Is anyone else expecting Haloti Ngata to still be available at pick 11 in the NFL draft tomorrow, giving the Browns a false sense of security, right before the Rams snatch him up sending the Cleveland war room into a frenzy? Finally, they will panic and take sure-bust Broderick Bunkley from Florida State, who may as well be named Dan Footman Jr.

6. Does Ramon Vasquez even take batting practice? He has got to be the least feared hitter in Major League baseball. I wish I could get a camera view of the outfield when he's batting just to make sure the outfielders from the other team aren't sitting down. Its almost like every time the team takes BP, Vasquez produces a doctor's excuse for Wedgie, only the skipper doesn't realize the date on the excuse has been erased and written over about 15 times to keep it current.

7. The other day, I was watching ESPNBonds' Sportscenter, and they actually showed 4 minutes of consecutive highlights that did not include Barry Bonds! Why doesn't ESPN just go all the way with it and relocate headquarters from Bristol, Conn. to the basement of Pac Bell Park in San Francisco?

Summer blockbuster movie trailer

2006-04-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

Dolan Pictures presents, the movie event of the summer...

A group of men, sitting on metal folding chairs, hiding behind a wall, holds a city hostage. (cue ominous music).

They terrorized a quiet town by sabotaging one baseball game after another, each more gruesome than the last!! ("we're going with the righty" Nooooooooooooooo!).

baseball fans in the quiet town of Cleveland never knew what hit them.

(cue sound of bats hitting baseballs) AAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Danny Graves is chilling as Scott Stewart.

and introducing Fernando Cabrera in a demented portrayal of Jose Jimenez.

starring in: BULLPEN FROM HELL: THE SEQUEL
"this time, its personal!"

Joel Seigel says, "I was at the edge of my seat the whole time, and fought the urge to vomit"

Robert Ebert claims, "hooray for the Dolan team, this picture makes the Texas Chainsaw Massacre seem pretty"

Eric Wedge in his most powerful masterpiece yet.

(climax scary music)
dum dum DUM DUM DUM!!

BULLPEN FROM HELL: THE SEQUEL!!!!!

.....and another quality start goes to waste..

coming soon to a ballpark near you. this film is not yet rated and not recommended for any fans that appreciate good pitching or have any afiliation with the Cleveland Indians organization.

Positive Spin

2006-04-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

I received some feedback lately that perhaps I’ve been a little too pessimistic regarding our hometown teams. Personally, I don’t see how ZERO championships, juxtaposed with The Drive, The Fumble, eh you know the list, leaves any room for optimism, but I decided to give it the old Cuyahoga Community College try!

So here it is, reasons why it’s great to be a Cleveland Sports fan!

1. Memorabilia savings: Do you have any idea how much fans from Boston have had to spend on officially licensed Championship gear the last half-decade? ANY idea at all?! I got a little taste of this after the Buckeyes won the National Championship; yeah, I got a little silly, but I’m here to tell you, that stuff is not cheap. But that is not of our concern as Clevelanders. No, our teams provide us with an economical escape from the pricey world of Super Bowl, World Series and Finals Championship retail, not too mention those “too good to pass up” Sports Illustrated offers.

2. Stress Free sporting events: Can you imagine how different a Super Bowl party would be were the Browns actually involved? I would be a nervous wreck! Unable to sit down at any time during the game I probably wouldn’t even sleep the night before. And heaven forbid they lose, or worse yet, get blown out. After all these years, I’m pretty sure I would be inconsolable for a few hours (weeks). But fortunately, we are CLEVELANDERS. We are able to watch the prime time championship sporting events with the carelessness of a young puppy frolicking through a grassy field. We can act like females, MOST of them anyway, and root for the team with the “prettiest uniforms” or “heartfelt subplot.”

3. Travel with the team: The Cavs are no longer included in this category, since the LeBron phenomenon materialized. But it still works with the Tribe and Browns. Want to see the Browns from primo seats? Travel to Ford Field in Detroit when the Browns are in town, they won’t draw I guarantee it. I once watched an entire Indians/Devil Rays 3-game series at Tropicana Field in Tampa, and easily bought each ticket the day of the game and pretty much had my choice of seating. From the Tampa fans I talked to, it wasn’t the case when the Yankees or Red Sox came to town.

4. Finally, I'm going to refer to my good buddy Butch Davis:
(while reading this, visualize Butch's accent narrating)
You know, we got groups of amazing young men on our teams playing their guts out each and every game in hopes of reaching the ultimate goal of where we wanna be. You may look at a 40-point loss to the Steelers as just a 40-point loss, but I look at all the positive strides we made during the ballgame. For one, nobody died. Two, our uniforms didn't get too dirty, thus saving a good piece of change on dry cleaning. Plus, if you take from the 3 minute mark of the third quarter, to the 13 minute mark of the fourth quarter, we played 'em dead even!
Sure its been over 40 years since a championship, but if we can just get each of our teams to continue along the 39-year plan, none of us will be waiting another 40.....I truly believe that.

Guarded Optimism

2006-04-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

You won't believe this one.

After countless hours of research and sleepless nights, I have found evidence that the MLB World Series Trophy has NEVER once been awarded in April. In fact, it has never been awarded in May, June, July, August or September either!

You would not think that based on the reaction, or should I say overreaction to the Tribe's 4-1 start to the 2006 campaign.

Ok, they took a series from the mighty White Sox. Ok, they beat the Twins twice. Can any respectable Indians fan possibly get excited about this start after what we witnessed in 2002? For those with selective memories, the Indians started 11-1 that year, including a four-game sweep of the Twins, who would go on to win the division. That 11-1 start that had us all so excited, was followed by a 63-87 finish, that wasn't nearly as exciting.

All I am saying today is be careful Tribe fans. This team has a history of heartbreak like no other. We all knew going in this team is not as strong, top to bottom as last year's, which failed to make the playoffs. At this point we still have no reason to expect a better result at seasons end.

Big Sour Apple

2006-04-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

The New York Knicks are a terrible basketball team. Assembled by the incompetent Isiah Thomas, not even Larry Brown has been able to quell the disaster taking place at Madison Square Garden. Coach Brown was quoted recently saying damning things about the troubles he's had motivated Knicks players to even wipe their own asses, let alone play help defense.

Yes the Knicks can't do anything right anymore, settling into the role as league doormat with a putrid 20-54 record.

Amidst all the wreckage however, the Knicks have one small distinction this bleak season. They have dominated the Cavs.

The Cavs came into Wednesday's game with the Knicks riding a 9-game winning streak and playing their best basketball of the season. And for the second time this season in as many tries, the Knicks left the court as victors. The Knicks have won 20 games in over five months of basketball, yet they are 2-0 against the Cavs.

What is it about that team the Cavs can't handle? You can make the excuse about Ilgauskas being out, but countless teams have handled the sorry Knicks with centers much less adequate than big Z, and they did not have a LeBron James on the floor. The Knicks can barely run an offensive play these days without their collective egos crashing into each other, yet when they play Cleveland, the ghosts of Willis Reed and Walt "Clyde" Frazier emerge.

All I can say is the disturbing trend must end. The Cavs play one more game with the Knicks, I'm not sure I can handle 0-3 against a team that is thinking more about ping pong balls than basketballs at this point.

Opening Night

2006-04-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

Just a few observations from the Indians/White Sox opener.

The White Sox went 14-5 against the Tribe last year en route to winning the World Series. Last night they opened the season with a 10-4 whoopin' on the Indians. I think we are officially their female dogs.
Before its all said and done, I'm pretty sure C.C. Sabathia will go down as one of the most overrated Cleveland sports figures of all time.
There are 25 guys on the Indians roster, manager Eric Wedge and the rest of the coaching staff and an assortment of clubhouse attendants, trainers and team assistants. And you mean to tell me not ONE PERSON has the stones to tell Danny Graves the truth about his hair? Not even a subtle, "how's it going Danielle?"
All over the Indians message boards you find nothing but homers vehemently claiming, "Its just one game!!" Excuse me, but how many games did the Tribe miss the playoffs by last year? They all count folks, especially when you put up an effort like that in the season opener.
And just so nobody accuses me of hastily jumping off the bandwagon, see my archived post entitled, "Fantasyland" where I ripped a foolish sportswriter who ranked the Indians 3rd in the power poll. I didn't have a good feeling about this Indians team 3 months ago and I don't have a good feeling about them now.
Finally, a non-baseball observation. I'm so glad the NCAA basketball tournament is finally over. It seems like the only thing I've heard the last few weeks were middle-aged commentators saying, "blah blah blah, Big Baby. Blah blah blah, Big Baby. Big Baby, blah blah blah." Has there ever been a more overused nickname in sports? And they can stop with all this Charles Barkley talk. That guy does not have half the athletic ability of Barkley. If you want a more accurate comparison, see Robert "Tractor" Traylor. "Blah blah blah, Tractor Traylor."

Who IS this guy?!

2006-04-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

I have found on several occasions this season, I have told somebody, "That may be LeBron's best game ever, the game that really took him to another level."

Well after making that statement about five times, it starts to lose its luster.

What LeBron did today against the Miami Heat had to be seen to be believed. There was one sequence late in the game, James drove to the lane, kicked a pass out to a wide open Donyell Marshall in the corner. Predictably, Marshall clanked the shot off the rim, then LeBron heroically and inexplicably pulled down the rebound amidst four Heat players, and all in one motion, fired a pass back to Marshall, who had wisely cut to the basket for an easy put in.

It was a play that brought me off my couch, screaming into my cell phone without regard to the person on the other end. You just couldn't help it. This kid does things I have never seen in a Cavalier game, at least from a Cavs player. Things that make me jump up and cheer the way the Price, Daugherty, Nance combo used to. The difference is, this time the "Jordan" was on OUR side.

Don't get me wrong, Dwyane Wade was fantastic as well. But without Shaq's big body under the hoop knocking people around, even Wade's Heat looked inferior to LeBron's Cavs, clicking on all cyllinders.

James' final stat line: 47 points, 12 boards, 10 assists. What other player routinely fills up the stat sheet that way?

I don't know where this incredible journey LeBron James is taking us on will ultimately end up, but I can tell you this, I'm enjoying the ride.

Waking up from an 8-year nap

2006-03-29T20:48:00.000-08:00

I got a little emotional tonight, yes I can admit it.

It is so difficult to believe the Cavs are going back to the playoffs. Three years ago this was a dead franchise. A 17-65 record, five years removed from their last playoff appearance. Imagine if we had not landed that fateful ping pong ball.

Professional sports hasn't been kind to us Clevelanders lately. Well, actually ever, at least in my lifetime. But there is something different about LeBron James. I'm not saying it is going to happen this year, next year, or even ever. But for the first time, I can actually envision a Cleveland team winning it all.

I know the Indians had a couple nice runs in the 90's and the Browns came close in the late 80's. But it always seemed like a fantasy to actually WIN IT ALL. Even when the Indians were excruciatingly close in '97. I still felt like I had to see it to believe it.

I realize I'm contradicting a previous post comparing LeBron to Dwyane Wade. I still think Wade is the real deal. But I have to keep reminding myself LeBron is ONLY 21 years old. Expectations have been elevated to levels never before seen for a Cleveland athlete. He is averaging over 30 points a game and is directly responsible for the Cavs increasing their win total from 17 to 42 (and counting) in just three seasons.

Plus, his performance against the 54-win Mavericks tonight was truly something special. He has really shown something these last two weeks.

With LeBron, I can just envision him standing on the scores table, arms raised triumphantly as Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" blares from the Quicken Loans Arena PA system. I can see him hoisting the championship trophy over his head as the crowd roars.

You probably have to go back to Jim Brown to find that last time a Cleveland team had the greatest player in the league. I'm not saying LeBron is the best right now, but he's damn close. And we all know how the Jim Brown thing turned out.

BRING ON THE PLAYOFFS!

Pineapple tidbits..

2006-03-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

- I'm was so happy to see George Mason University defeat UConn today, and not because they are an 11 seed, but because I could literally hear the groans of thousands of people who lost countless amounts of money in their brackets pools due to the Huskies ouster. And yes, I'm still bitter I took Duke.

- What the hell is wrong with baseball. Can somebody tell me why the Indians are playing a "so meaningless its cooky" exhibition game against the Cincinnati Redlegs, THE DAY BEFORE they open the REAL season against the White Sox on opening night? They can't get one stinking day to rest from Spring Training and mentally prepare for the season?

- Vibe magazine has a feature called "10 Things I've Learned" in which they feature a different celebrity each month. In this month's edition, flabby, I mean heavyweight boxer James Toney is feature. Here is # 2 on Toney's list:

"Black is beautiful. That's why white women wanna fuck us, and white men wanna dress and sing like us."

And just a reminder, here is the most inflammatory quote from Sports Illustrated's piece on John Rocker back in 1999. The article that pretty much ended Rocker's career.

"On ever playing for a New York team: "I would retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing."

I am, by no means, saying Rocker was right or justified in his diatribe. I'm merely pointing out the parallels and the different reaction each will receive, or in Toney's case, lack of reaction.

- Can somebody tell me why the words "Cleveland State University" were painted on the floor of the Quicken Loans Arena for the women's NCAA tournament? Have the Vikings ever played a game in the Gund/Q?

- Here's something that has been bothering me, but I did not want to say anything. Tennessee LADY Volunteer point guard Alexis Hornbuckle broke her wrist late in the season, yet after missing less than 10 games, she returned to play in the NCAA Tournament. Jerry Rice once tore the ACL in his knee, and actually returned the same season.

So why is it Cavs guard Larry "cotton ball" Hughes is set to miss some 54 games, the final four months of the season, because of one little brokey fingey? I realize they had to perform a second surgery, but that was six freaking weeks ago! Is he collecting workman's comp or something?

The way I see it, Mike Brown and team management have two choices at this point:

1. Throw a jersey at him and vehemently encourage him to stop acting like a particular part of the female anatomy, or..

2. Make him wear a prom dress as he sits on the bench the rest of the season.

Fantasyland

2006-03-23T22:16:00.000-08:00

Here's a rule to live by - never trust a sportswriter who wears a ball cap backwards for his column mugshot.

Such is the case with CBS Sportsline.com's renegade baseball writer Eric Mack. I have to be honest and say I had never heard of this loose cannon, Eric Mack before I saw his latest MLB Power Rankings posted on the website. Lets just say I can't believe the Flava he's kickin in my ear.

Mack has the Indians ranked THIRD out of the 30 major league teams, behind only the White Sox and St. Louis Cardinals.

Now there is not one person on this earth who would love to believe the Tribe is that good more than me, but lets be serious. An Indians team that failed to make the playoffs last year when literally everything that could have gone right did. All 5 starters stayed healthy the WHOLE season - which happens about never. Two rookies, Peralta and Sizemore, step in and become studs. No significant injuries period?

Now they have dismantled the best bullpen in the league and let the ERA leader walk and replaced him with an injury prone journeyman. THIS is the third best team in baseball?

With Coco Crisp, Manny Ramirez, Papi Ortiz and Jason Varitek in their lineup, the Red Sox could win 80-85 games with the Akron Aeros pitching staff. So what will they do with Josh Beckett and the boys? Yet Mack only has them fifth.

You know whats going on here? Every year we are completely inundated with preseason projections, predictions and power rankings. By September, does anybody really remember who picked what? I think these writers actually just go for shock value at this point, anything to set them apart from the herd.

That could be the only explanation for the wild, wacky line of stuff Eric Mack is feeding us.

My own personal March Madness..

2006-03-19T21:25:00.000-08:00

The NCAA basketball tournament - The only thing that can make a grown man shout obsenities at the television during a game between the University of Montana and the University of Nevada.

Last year, I did not fill out any brackets. Not for an office pool, not for any website "challenge;" none. It was the first time since, well maybe ever for me. But here is the funny thing. I don't think I ever enjoyed a tournament more.

This year has been an absolute nightmare. I started out 15 for 16 in one of my ESPN bracket challenge brackets. By the next morning I had already mentally spent about 95% of the $10,000 prize money the overall winner is to receive.

And then day two. Lets just say I'm not very concerned about that ten grand anymore.

I hate the fact I couldn't truly enjoy George Mason's stunning victory over North Carolina, because I had UNC going to the Elite Eight. I mean who would've thought the defending national champions would lose to just one guy? That George must have some SERIOUS game.

Oh yeah, and If I happen to see the Tennessee head coach, Bruce Pearl on the street, there is going to be some unpleasantries exchanged.

Here's another thing, what the hell happened to the selection committee this year? I depended on them, mainly because I had not watched on full men's college basketball game all year. I assumed when I see a little "2" by Ohio State's name, that they were a GOOD team? After alleged seventh-seed Georgetown got done toying with them for 40 minutes, the Buckeyes looked more like a nine-seed to me.

Tennessee hardly represented the two-seed any better. After escaping some school called Winthrop with a freakishly miraculous shot, they crapped the bed against the perennial national power, Wichita State. I still could not tell you what Wichita State's mascot is.

As it stands, I have two options next year.

1. Do NOT fill out any brackets and just enjoy the games and root for underdogs, or..

2. Follow some freaking college basketball.

Who's on First?

2006-03-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

Here is the last names of the Korean starting batting lineup in tonight's World Baseball Classic game against Japan.

Lee, Lee, Lee, Choi, Lee, Lee, Park, Cho and Kim.

In the 7th inning, Kim pinch hit for Choi, making the order:

Lee, Lee, Lee, Kim, Lee, Lee, Park, Cho and Kim.

Oh yeah, and after Kim walked in place of Choi, he was pinch run for by, you guessed it, KIM! So the lineup remained.

In the 9th inning, Park pinch hit for Kim, now making the lineup:

Lee, Lee, Lee, Park, Lee, Lee, Park, Cho and Kim.

Just for frame of reference, if that were an American lineup, the batting order would look something like this:

1. Smith
2. Smith
3. Smith
4. Jones
5. Smith
6. Smith
7. Jones
8. Davis
9. Clark

And if you thought we couldn't possibly have any more fun with this. The starting pitcher for the Koreans? PARK! who was relieved by Jun and then relieved by KIM!!

Where are Abbot and Costello when you NEED them!!

More Browns..

2006-03-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

Just a couple additions to the last post regarding the Browns' free agent signings:

1. Its just so nice to see the Browns place a priority on the offensive line for the first time since I was a kid during the Marty Schottenheimer era. Quarterbacks getting crushed and running backs struggling for two-yard gains have become all-too-familiar sights for the Browns. Maybe they are really starting to "get it."

2. The Browns went on to add DT Ted Washington and punter Dave Zastudil to complete the weekend.

I love the Zastudil signing. Another local product and as much as I had fallen in love with the Kyle Richardson "7-yard special," its time to bring in a real punter.

I'm not triumphantly sprinting through the streets clothed only with an American flag over the Washington signing. I realize he's better than a middle-aged former baseball player, or whoever that Fisk guy we had last year was. But what is the shelf life for 370-pound defensive tackles? Isn't WAshington, soon to be 38-years-old, already playing on borrowed time?

Whats more, if they add 34-year-old DE Willie McGinest to the mix, (a very real possibility) then the team will be forced to carry a full-time AARP rep on the payroll.

But alas, I'm not complaining. Phil Savage has already made this an 8-win team, and that is before the draft. Speaking of which, how many hours until the draft?

A Wild, Savage beast

2006-03-11T21:54:00.000-08:00

March 11, 2006. A day that will forever live in infamy - at least to Cleveland Browns fans!

Browns general manager, Phil "almost fired" Savage made his move in what may be the defining offseason of his career today with an all-out assault on the free agent market.

The Browns simply treated the free agent market like an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet Saturday, nabbing two large helpings of offensive lineman and a side of veteran receiver.

The best part, both guard LeCharles Bentley and receiver Joe Jurevicius are local products, happy to be coming home.

"I can die happy now," Bentley said. "This has been my dream."

Now honestly, have you ever heard something like that coming out of a professional athlete who just signed with a Cleveland team? I officially have a man-crush on Bentley.

You have to give Savage and Lerner credit today. Lerner because unlike Larry Dolan, he is willing to spend the money to acquire the players needed to be successful. Savage, because despite having money to play with, he allocated it wisely, unlike Cavs GM Danny Ferry's wild spending spree that resulted in a washed up Donyell Marshall and an overrated Damon Jones. Both of which were overpaid.

So what's next for the Browns? They need to get Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards healthy, and draft some impact defensive players. A defensive tackle in the first round and the best available linebacker in round two would be wise.

Things are finally starting to look up for us Browns fans, for the first time since the Butchered Davis era mercifully came to a close.

Phil Savage, if you happen to be reading this, I am only giving you two large thumbs up because I don't have three!

Dear Jonnie

2006-03-10T23:27:00.000-08:00

I’m an advice guy. On occasion I enjoy doling out advice to those who may seek it. You know, whatever I can do to help.

So recently I have received an unusual amount of emails asking advice, as if I was running an advice column on my Tortured Fans Blog©. So I figured, “what they hay,” lets use this forum to address some of the concerns of these troubled individuals who may or may not be affiliated with a professional sports team in Cleveland. I will only use the first initial of the last name to protect the identities of the advice subjects.

Keep in mind, I am NOT a trained professional and cannot be held responsible any unpleasantness or lawsuits that result from my responses.

Lets go to the first letter:

Dear Jonnie,

I have consistently performed very well at my job, however lately I feel my bosses are relying way too much on my ability to carry my worthless coworkers’ slack. I’m exhausted from carrying the load for so long and sometimes just want to curl up in the fetal position on my couch and cry.

Needing Help in C-town,

LeBron J.

Dear LeBron J.,

many of us have felt the way you feel. Unfortunately, those who perform well at their jobs are often susceptible to being taken advantage of by their superiors. I suggest you relate your feelings to your boss and maybe he can motivate your co-workers to perform up to par. Other things that may be helpful include a motivational speaker, or in worst case scenario, the use of a cattle prod.

Keep your head up LeBron J. brighter days are ahead!

here’s another one…

Dear Jonnie,

I’m in my first year at my job and feel woefully overwhelmed. I “manage” 15 guys, very few of which have any respect for me. Some say I am in way over my head, but I don’t want to just quit. That would mean admitting failure and I don’t think I’m prepared to do that. Please help!

sincerely,

Mike B.

Dear Mike B.,

sounds like quit a pickle you have yourself in there. Maybe you just need to be more assertive. In times of adversity, subordinates need to see the boss with a calm look of confident determination, rather than deer in the headlights. Perhaps your lack of confidence and qualifications are manifesting by your actions, or lack there of. Show your employees that you actually “have a pair” and maybe the respect will come!

This isn’t so hard, I like helping people! Lets do another..

Dear Jonnie,

I recently relocated to the Cleveland area for a lucrative new job, unfortunately my new employers were blinded by my last high profile job and thought I had more than just one discernable skill. Lately, however, I haven’t even been performing that one skill all that well. People have really started to get on me, and my cartoonish tomfoolery act is just annoying people, rather than masking my deficiencies. What to do?

Damon J.

Dear Damon J.

Maybe you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are truly earning this lucrative paycheck you speak of, or just stealing money. Perhaps taking a pay-cut will not only lower unrealistic expectations that have been placed upon you, and maybe even help you sleep better at night. We all need a clear conscience. Good luck with that!

Okay, I got time for one more. I really hope I’m making a positive impact on these people’s lives!

Dear Jonnie,

Lately I’ve been having trouble staying motivated. Sometimes I go to work and perform very well. Other times I find myself drifting off and thinking about other things, like music videos, video games, what type of cereal I’m going to eat the next morning. It can be really troublesome and my team, err, co-workers get mad at me.

Drew G.

Dear Drew G.

Perhaps you have a psychological condition, such as Attention Deficit Disorder? Either way you should get it checked out before you continue to let the people around you down. Nobody likes a loafer.

So there you have it folks. Hopefully if we get some successes, we can make the “Dear Jonnie” column a regular feature on the World’s Most Tortured Fans© site.

Happy Times are here AGAIN!!

2006-03-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

With the Cavaliers latest 4-game winning streak clicking the 2005-06 Win-o-meter up to 36, we can now put to bed the talks of choking and begin zeroing in a the rarest of occurances in the Cleveland sports world - CLINCHING A PLAYOFF BERTH!

Hey, we all know the Cavs are an obscenely flawed team. We all know a first round series win is probably best-case scenario for these guys. But dammit, I'm excited!

The 21st Century has not been kind to us "Tortured Fans." Our last, and ONLY, playoff appearance came courtesy of Butchered Davis' 2002 Browns squad, who promptly crapped the bed against the Steelers. That playoff experience came and went so fast, you would've thought it was DaJuan Wagner's career.

That's the good thing about the NBA Playoffs, if and when the Cavs clinch a spot they will be guaranteed at least four games. And you know what? That is four more than we get most years.

LeBron vs. D-Wade

2006-03-06T20:23:00.000-08:00

Before we get to the topic of this post, I wanted to issue a brief message to all the people out there drawing comparisons of Gonzaga University forward Adam Morrison to Larry Bird -- STOP!

I realize everything has to be sensationalized nowadays and every good young player in any sport has to be the next (insert name here). But has it been that long since Larry Legend retired? Are memories that short?

Larry Bird was and is one of the top five basketball players to ever live. Nothing about Adam Morrison gives me the feeling he is anywhere near that territory.

Just to reinforce my point, I have painstakingly created an exhaustive list off all the similarities I see between Morrison and Bird, listed in numerical order:

1. They are white

That about sums it up.

Now, on to more important issues. I was thinking about LeBron the other day, and suddenly I had a disturbing premonition. I ran it by my friend Ball, who is my source for all things NBA, and he was very intrigued.

I look at LeBron, and the path of his career and I look at Wade. Both players are extremely gifted physically. Both have the ability to score at will when they are "on." Both are clearly the brightest young stars in the league.

Once upon a time in the NBA two equally gifted stars came along that would change the game as we know it. Right around the time Bird and Magic were trading championships, two young studs, Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins burst onto the scene.

As their careers progressed, it became evident that though 'Nique would certainly capture some breathtaking highlights and post some gaudy numbers, Jordan would be the Alpha dog. Jordan would be the man with the rings. With both players retired, the championship ring count is Jordan - 6 Wilkins - 0.

Fast forward to present day, and the simlarities between Jordan/Wilkins and Wade/LeBron are stark. Unfortunately for us Cavalier fans, LeBron is not the guy that reminds me of Jordan.

Now before you toss your monitor out the window and set your couch on fire, take a look at the evidence.

LeBron and Dominique are both 6-8. LeBron plays at 240 pounds while Wilkins played at a slightly trimmer 230.

Jordan was 6-6, 216 and Wade is 6-5, 212.

Now look at a brief recap of Wilkins career. He came out of college early for the NBA draft (back before high schoolers went straight to the pros). His rookie season he averaged 17.5 points. His second year he scored 21.6 a game. He quickly turned a pathetic Hawks team into a contender, leading them to a franchise record four straight 50-win seasons. He solidified his reputation as a devastating scorer and posted a 29-point effort in the 1988 All-Star game.

Any of this sound familiar?

When you watch Dwyane Wade at the end of close games, there is just something different about how he approaches things and the way LeBron does. Clevelanders will make excuses about supporting casts and age difference, but the fact is Wade is similar to Jordan in the respect when the game is on the line he is simply money. It could be one on five out there in the final minute and Wade is going to find a way to score.

With LeBron, you get fadeaway 25 footers that barely catch the front of the rim. You get out of control drives that result in turnovers. You get him passing up decent shots to dish the ball to somebody like Eric Snow. His free throw shooting is downright appalling. According to 82games.com, LeBron is shooting 59 % (32-54)from the foul line in the last five minutes of games decided by five points or less. In the same stat, Wade is hitting 85 %(33-39) of his freebies. Basically, nothing LeBron does in at the end of close games resembles Michael Jordan.

And for all those who want to play the age card, didn't Michael Jordan drain a game-winning jumper as a 18-year old freshman at the NCAA finale for North Carolina?

You either have it or you don't. Jordan had it, Wilkins didn't. Wade has it, LeBron doesn't seem to.

Now before anybody overreacts, I am in no way saying LeBron is not a fantastic ballplayer and certain lock for the Hall of Fame barring major injury. What I am saying is when it is all said and done, Mr. Wade is more likely to be the guy wearing the hardware on his fingers than James.

World Treason Classic

2006-03-02T22:10:00.000-08:00

When examing various rosters for the World Baseball Classic I stumbled upon a troubling fact. Apparently several of our nation's own major leaguers have pulled a Benedict Arnold and jumped ship to a foreign nation!

Now I'm not talking about the Omar Vizquel's and Johan Santana's of the world. Those guys are simply playing for the country in which they were born. They only came here because of the opportunity baseball afforded them. Their situation is completely understandable.

What I am talking about are a select group of American-born players that have inexplicably chosen to shame themselves, their families and their homeland by taking up arms, or bats rather, for a foreign power.

After examing Team Netherlands roster, curiously there was St. Louis Cardinals pitcher and Illinois native Mark Mulder's name, HUH?!
Mulder was born in a city called "South Holland," so maybe it was some strange confusion, he actually thought he was born in the country of Holland?

But that doesn't explain teammates Kirk Saarloos, born in Long Beach, Calif. and David Aardsma, from the very non-Netherlands city of Denver, Colo.

It gets more disturbing when you scope the Italian roster. Mike Piazza obviously has Italian heritage, but his birthplace of Norristown, Penn. is hardly a stone's throw from Sicily. Other "Italian" players include Philadelphia native Mike DeFelice; Passaic, New Jersey's Mark DeRosa; Baton Rouge, La. native David Dellucci; and Miami, Fla. native Lenny DiNardo.

I mean, shouldn't the requirement for being added to the Italian roster be something more than having eaten at the Olive Garden? Tampa, Fla. native Matt Mantei is also on the squad. Is Mantei even an Italian name?

The big question is, why is this not a larger issue? Aren't we supposed to be a more patriotic nation since 9/11? Yet everybody is cool with American ballplayers representing foreign countries in a world tournament? Can you imagine Mark Mulder taking the hill against the U.S. in a tournament finale?

Thank goodness the military is not like this! Imagine scores of soldiers, sailors and airmen deciding the competition in the U.S. military was too great and simply fled to Canada to join their military instead. Seriously, what person not named Bill Clinton would ever considered such a thing. Yet in the World Baseball Classic, its not just accepted, its encouraged.

I guess the biggest shock is seeing Roger Clemens in an American uniform and not a Canadian. Weren't his two years with the Toronto Blue Jays enough to make him "Canadian?"

Story 'O The Year

2006-03-01T22:30:00.000-08:00

Apparently my decision to relocate to a cave with no means of communication inadvertantly resulted in my missing perhaps one of the greatest sports stories of my lifetime.

It happened the day after Valentine's Day and I just heard about it yesterday. Nonetheless, just in case any of you are as out of the loop as I am, here is the story of Jason McElwain.

McElwain, a 17-year-old senior at Greece Athena High School in Rochester, New York, is the manager of the school's varsity basketball team - he also has autism. Diagnosed with the disease when he was 3-years-old, McElwain tried out for basketball but failed to make the team. Still wanting to be part of the team, he became the manager, a position in which he has proudly served for the last three years.

Anyways, in the model of Jack "Rudy" Ruettiger the head coach of Greece Athena decided to dress McElwain for the final game of the season with the intent of getting the young man some game action.

What started as a nice gesture, turned into arguably the most memorable, significant game of recent memory. McElwain checked in with about four minutes left, chucked an airball, then proceeded to drain SIX three-pointers and a seventh shot with his foot on the line. With the gymnasium erupting with every swish of the net, the autistic kid playing his first and last high school basketball game ever, threw in 20 points for the game - good enough to be the game's leading scorer.

Simply an unbelievably heart-warming story. You can view ESPN's excellent feature on the game here. I strongly advise anyone who has yet to see the game footage, to watch that ESPN video on that link. Its stuff like that, that remind us why we love sports and just how great they can be....even for Clevelanders.

HOT! UPDATE!

2006-02-28T05:49:00.000-08:00

Just an update from my post last night. I logged on to Cleveland.com this morning to discover Plain Dealer columnist Bill Livingston wrote essentially the SAME THING!!

click here

I'm not sure if I should feel good about this or not, afterall, it is Bill Livingston.

Tank Job version 2.0

2006-02-27T21:45:00.000-08:00

I'm not in a good mood tonight.

Its not every night you find out your hometown professional basketball team is comprised of a collection of wimps, sissies and yella-bellies.

Yes, I'm talking about the Cadavers...err Cavaliers. It is really unfathomable how much this season is resembling last season. Virtually identical won-loss records at the All-Star break, and both years they come out flatter than a jailhouse pancake.

Here what disturbs me most. Aside from the obvious losing of games. Sunday afternoon, they weren't just defeated by Detroit on national television, they were absolutely DESTROYED by the Pistons. Rasheed Wallace cracked big Z upside the head, knocked down a few jumpers, and promptly spent the rest of the game cackling on the bench as the network provided about 835 cutaways to the Detroit bench. Every time, without fail, there was good 'ol 'Sheed laughing it up at the hapless Cavaliers trying to play basketball.

So of course, the Cavs came out with fire in their eyes tonight at "The Q," determined to wipe that sickening grim of Wallace's face and teach him and the rest of the Pistons that NOBODY will push them around in their house, right? RIGHT?

Of course not, instead, the marshmallow-soft Cavaliers continued to get out-hustled, and out-muscled and flat-out outplayed as the Pistons cruised for yet another easy win. Worst of all, the Cavs did not turn the game physical or even attempt to look the least bit upset about being completely owned by another team.

Is there one player on this team that has any stones? Where is the shoving, elbowing, arm-barring? Why won't they do ANYTHING to take Detroit out of their game? The Cavs have established they are far from the best defensive team in the league, so why not take a page out of Larry Bird's book and give Rasheed a reason to get himself ejected?

Are you telling me if Stephen Graham delivers consecutive elbows to 'Sheed's abdomin on picks, that Wallace isn't going to absolutely blow his top and probably punt a basketball into the stands at some point, eventually leaving the court with no shirt on as the fans mockingly waive him goodbye?

Nope, not these Cavs. They are all playing their "boys." They slap hands and chest bump prior to tipoff and after the Pistons have delivered an ass whoopin'. There are no hard feelings. Afterall, they were just the better team right? Its enough to make you want to vomit.

I'll leave you all with an actual quote from Mr. Wallace himself, commenting on Ilgauskas half-hearted attempt to give Rasheed a hard foul. This pretty much sums it all up:

The two tangled again in the rematch, but Wallace simply laughed when Ilgauskas shoved him to the floor in the second quarter.

"I guess that was his wannabe retaliation," Wallace said. "I started laughing and got a [technical foul] for that."

Spring Preview: The Pitchers

2006-02-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am going to attempt to curtail my negativity today while discussing the Tribe pitching staff. Gone are favorites Bobby "lights out" Howry and David Riske, as well as effective part-time employee Artie Rhodes. All of the sudden the best bullpen in baseball may revert back to 2004 form. You'll remember that unit for their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory no matter what the score was. No lead was safe.

Anyways, without further ado, YOUR 2006 TRIBE PITCHING STAFF, cleverly grouped into applicable categories:

The "Sure Thing" Group
C.C. Sabathia - probably the best we have, although his decision to play in the ridiculous World Baseball Classic makes Al Lerner's decision to hire Butchered Davis look savvy.

Cliff Lee - I don't think Lee will ever evolve into an "Ace", however he is a great won-loss guy and will make a solid # 3 behind Sabathia and..

Paul Byrd - I seriously debated whether or not to include him in this group. I just have this horrible vision of him pitching in an early May game and clutching his elbow after a pitch, and never returning. Lets hope I'm wrong.

Jake Westbrook - The Jaker recovered nicely to win 15 games last year after a horrendous start in which he looked like a Corvette in a blizzard. Should be good for another 15-win season.

The "Must Come Through" Group
Rafael Betancourt - With the bully so depleted, the Indians absolutely NEED consistency from this guy. And that means staying away from the "Mr. Bigs juice" Raffy!!

Matt Miller - Hard to place such expectations from a guy who missed significant time last season due to injury, but he has been very effective the last two seasons and the Tribe needs him to bridge the cap from the starters to the set-up man, whoever that may be.

Bob Wickman - once again Tribe fans are stuck in the unenviable position of having to rely on a closer that could unravel at any moment. True he was effective last year while causing near-coronaries with each appearance. But doesn't it just seem like he's on borrowed time and his luck could run out at any second? I mean, he's bigger than any Browns lineman, he had major arm surgery a few years ago, he's rapidly approaching 40 and he's missing parts of two fingers on his PITCHING HAND no less. He scares me more than Jason Voorhies.

The Infirmary Group
Guillermo Mota - Ok, I can understand the Crisp/Marte part of the trade. Actually I lied, I don't understand that part. By I really don't understand why we felt the need to throw in a semi-reliable Riske for a guy with elbow AND shoulder problems? When he did pitch last season, he posted an unspectacular 4.70 ERA. Here's my theory, in 2003 the Dodgers pitched Mota 76 times for 105 innings setting up Gagne. In 2004 he logged another 96.2 innings and 78 appearances between Los Angeles and Florida. Does it really surprise anyone he now has arm problems? I mean thats about as predictable as a Peyton Manning playoff collapse.

Kaz Tadano - Has been hampered with a bulging disc in his lower back for the last two years. I suppose we should be glad that headlines involving the word "bulging" are about his back and not something else.

Jason Stanford - I have to be honest, when I saw the spring roster I could not believe this guy was still on the team. He has made a grand total of two appearances the last two seasons. I realize he had Tommy John surgery, but don't guys come back from that nowadays? Did he get the 1988 version by mistake? Finally, does he show up to collect his paycheck with a ski mask and 9 millimeter pistol?
The sad part is Stanford, when not hurt or getting into scuffles in the Flats, has looked really good. He has to show me he can pitch again before I start ordering my "Stanford" jersey, however.

The "Anything You Can Give Us" Group
Jason Davis - I still think the flame-throwing Davis deserves a shot to close. His career as a starter is so similar to Eric Gagne's, its scary. In 2000, Gagne made 19 starts, going 4-6 with a 5.15 ERA. He followed that up in 2001 with a forgettable 6-7 4.75 campaign in 24 starts. The Dodgers coverted him to closer based on his arm strength and how effective he was early in games, and the rest is history.

Andrew Brown - The Chardon native was the subject of a cruel Indians prank last year when he was called up to the show on August 20, only to never appear in an actual game. Lets hope he uses that as motivation this season.

The "Big Potential" Group
Fernando Cabrera - The 24-year-old looked downright nasty at time last year and finished with a 1.47 ERA in over 30 innings of work. Look for good things from Cabrera.

Jeremy Sowers and Fausto Carmona - Two guys we might not see much of until September, but look to figure significantly into the Tribe's future plans.

The "Washed Up" Group
Steve Karsay and Danny Graves - Neither of these guys was able to keep his ERA under 6.50 last season. What else needs to be said?

The "Jason Johnson" Group
Jason Johnson - I don't know what it is, but I just do not like this guy. Oh yeah, its his career 52-86 record. I think my friend Shnydes summed it up best when we were discussing Johnson a few weeks ago. As he was looking at his stats online, he said, "Jason Johnson, he hasn't been good since (pause) He's NEVER been good!"
I realize he's a fifth starter and I realize he has pitched on bad teams and I realize "24" is a popular show even though I don't understand how that much can happen in one day. But we couldn't do better than this for our starting rotation? I have a strong feeling Eric Wedge will be penciling in a name other than Jason Johnson for the 5th spot by July, and Johnson will be anchoring the rotation - for the Buffalo Bisons..

So there you have it. Stay tuned for a report on the position players. If I feel like it...

Do I hear wedding Belles?

2006-02-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

Accuse Albert Belle of being hot-tempered. Accuse him of being a lunatic who probably isn't fit for society based on his history of violence. Even accuse him of cheating during his playing days with corked bats and "alleged" steroid use.

But one thing you CANNOT accuse Albert Belle of is not having a romantic side when it comes to the LADIES!! In his latest Prince Charming exploit, Belle "tracked his ex-girlfriend with a GPS tracking device and repeatedly threatened her...and has been charged with stalking," according to the Associated Press.

Now if you are man reading this, you are probably cursing Belle for making the rest of us look bad. If you are a woman, you are probably blushing and hoping against hope that your husband/boyfriend would engage in such timeless acts of chivalry.

In all seriousness, I have just one thing to say to the unnamed woman who fell victim to Belle's stalking. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT, HE'S ALBERT FREAKING BELLE!!

I mean who was her next choice for boyfriend, the Unabomber? I realize there is always an element of risk when entering a relationship, but when the guy is a public figure who spent the majority of his career disproving even the staunchest of believers in his sanity, how did you think this would end up?

Here's the funny twist to the story. When the AP attempted to extract a comment form the volatile Belle, he responded with, "You didn't write a story about my Hall of Fame induction. You guys never report the good stuff I do."

Mm hmm. Um psst, Albert. Uh you didn't make the Hall of Fame bro. I really hate to be the one to break that to you.

And about the "good stuff I do" that hasn't been reported, I distinctly remember hearing about an incident on Halloween when he tried to run down kids in his SUV after they peppered his house with eggs, oh wait that wasn't good.

Well what about the time he pelted a fan in the chest with a ball he threw from the playing field, wait that wasn't good either.

So what good stuff have you done Albert? Oh thats right, we don't know because it was never reported!

Da dum CHING!

WAKE UP, Tribe fans!

2006-02-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from Plain Dealer columnist Roger Brown's column from Friday:

Number of fans
attending Indians home games in 2005: 2,013,763.
Number of fans Indians ownership said were needed in 2005 to break even financially: 1.95 million.
Number of tickets already sold for 2006 season: More than 1 million (some two months before Opening Day).
Amount Indians received from FSN Ohio last season to air TV games: An estimated $16.5 million.
Amount Indians rejected from FSN Ohio to air games this season (because they expect to rake in much more airing them on a team-owned network): $35 million.
Average amount a family of four paid to see one Indians home game in 2005: $156.18.
Average amount that family will pay in 2006: Still unknown. But we'll bet more than $156.18.
Now, those are cold, hard numbers. Yet, we still get e-mails from Indians fans who fret that owner Larry Dolan - a master at poor-mouthing - might go broke running the team. And, who defend Dolan's tight-fisted refusal to spend real money on acquiring players. (Like it's their money that's on the line.)
Huh? Excuse us? Here's a news flash: Neither Dolan nor Indians President Paul Dolan, his son, will be suddenly standing in line for government-issued cheese if the team signs a player (or two) who isn't a cheap-cost journeyman. (Uh, no offense, Todd Hollandsworth, Lou Merloni, Danny Graves, Steve Karsay . . . .

Here is an email I sent him in response:

Sladek Jon Contr > 02/10/06 02:38PM >>>
GREAT JOB MR. BROWN!!!

Finally somebody in Cleveland with the stones to take Larry "tight pockets" Dolan to task on misleading the fans. The only thing you forgot to include is the monies the Tribe received from revenue sharing last year.
I wholeheartedly applaud you for not giving the Indians a pass. It bewilders me how some fans actually support that clown, it's almost like some Cleveland sports fans are ok with being the most tortured city, or never achieving any level of success. They have accepted mediocrity.

Way to go Roger, keep fighting the good fight!
Jon Sladek

And here is his response:

Jon, thanks for the e-mail and nice words from ALA! I really appreciate them, and you're absolutely right: I should have also noted the revenue sharing money that the Indians get from things like XM Radio, etc. As you noted, I simply want fans to demand more from the Indians ownership and not passively accept its rhetoric. Thanks again and keep in touch during the baseball season! - Roger Brown

There you have it. Roger Brown "gets it" while countless Indians fans remain brainwashed by the corrupt Larry Dolan regime. Until more people open there eyes to the truth, Dolan will continue to stockpile his bank account at the expense of the best interest of the fans...

Super Bowl 2006

2006-02-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

First lets cover some thoughts on Super Bowl XL.

From an music perspective, this Super Bowl was atrocious. The average age of the musical guests, between the national anthem and the halftime show, was 82.4-years-old. I was embarassed for Aaron Neville and offended by Aretha Franklin's "soulful" version of the Star-Spangled Banner. Then there was the Rolling Stones. Its probably not a good thing when I spent the whole halftime performance concerned that Mick Jagger would have a heart attack, I mean isn't he like 70? Was there really no available younger acts to book? Its the Super Bowl for gosh sakes! Was Johnny Cash the initial act booked?

As far as the game goes, I have already been hearing a lot of noise about the officiating. True there were some bad calls, but did any call do as much damage to the Seahawks as the dynamic duo of clock management, Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck did? I literally could not believe my eyes watching Hasselbeck fidgeting around behind center as more than 30 precious seconds ticked away at the end of the first half. They easily blew a field goal and maybe even a touchdown. I still think the Steelers deserved to win regardless of the officiating (which was bad).

Here's a question, did Mike Holmgren stiff Bill Cowher at the postgame handshake? I saw Cowher walking out to midfield, then thought I heard him ask, "where's Holmgren." Of course it was difficult to hear over the incessant hyperbole of Al Michaels and John Madden. Michaels was so busy trying to etch the moment in history, neither him, nor a half-senile Madden seemed to notice Cowher standing at midfield like a jilted bride. If Holmgren did in fact stiff him, that is one of the more classless acts in Super Bowl history.

Now lets get to what this Super Bowl means to us Browns fans.

I'm just going to say it, don't be mad or upset about this. Lets be real about this Browns fans, comparing ourselves to the Steelers is like bringing a one-legged man to an ass-kicking contest, it just doesn't make sense.

I know I may be ruffling feathers, but lets look at the facts. The Steelers have now won five Super Bowls, we have yet to appear in one. The Steelers have had two head coaches, Cowher and Chuck Noll, since 1969, we have had three since 1999. We are 3-11 against Pittsburgh since our return in '99 and have dropped nine of the last 10 to them.

Frankly put, they are just better at football than we are and have been since Chuck Noll arrived. Comparing ourselves to them will only spell doom for a fan base already suffering from an extreme inferiority complex.

Hey , I can say these things because I am right there with you all. I have since learned, if we are going to be upset everytime the Steelers beat us, or achieve any success, then we are going to spend an awful lot of time upset.

The Browns are a mess right now and have been since '99, but my hopes and dreams rest in one simple goal, one day seeing them win the Super Bowl. If and when that glorious day ever comes, it will be our day to remember for the rest of our lives. And I'll be damned if I let what the Steelers have done cast even the slightest shadow on our victory parade.

Cuckoo for Coco Crisp

2006-01-28T23:51:00.000-08:00

Many of you have been asking about a new post. While I have been busy workin’ and schoolin’, I wanted to wait until the Coco Crisp deal was finalized before gathering my thoughts to discuss it.

Truth is, I can’t remember another trade quit like this one. As Indian fans, most of us eventually bought into Mark Shapiro’s plan and accepted mediocrity throughout the ’03 and ’04 seasons, assuming we would be contenders in subsequent years. Our patience was justified last season as the Tribe won 93 games, though barely missing the playoffs.

So after putting 2 million fans in the seats last year and already selling over a million for this season, all of the sudden we are rebuilding again?

Does anyone really believe Coco Crisp was not an integral part of the Indians success? We are talking about a guy who is 26 years old entering his prime. The last three seasons he has boosted his average from .266 to .297 and finally cracking .300 last year. He has transformed himself from a banjo hitter with speed to a bona fide power threat from the two-hole in the batting order (16 homeruns and 42 doubles last year). His age and statistical history leads us to believe he is primed to become a 200-hit 100-run guy, and again, he’s just 26!

And now we have shipped him away, along with one of the few reliable relievers we have left, to an American League team, who OH BY THE WAY, we were BATTLING for a wild card spot last season?!

Does any of this make sense?

Look, I want to believe Larry Dolan is more than just a miser and that the Indians make decisions for more than just financial reasons, but does the fact Crisp will earn a significant salary boost in arbitration have anything to do with this deal? If you are truly trying to compete this season, why the hell do you trade a major league-.300 hitter for a “prospect” that hit .275 in triple-A ball?

I know, I know. You are saying, “But Jon, he’s a third baseman with Power!” Yes, he hit 20 homeruns in triple-A, good, but not exactly Barry Bonds numbers. Are you also aware he struck out 83 times in just 389 at bats? Then when he was promoted to the big leagues, he whiffed 13 more times in just 57 at bats, while collecting only 8 hits. Is this guy another Russ “fannin” Branyan?

So to recap, yes, I hate this deal. Coco Crisp was part of the core players that arrived in 2003 along with Hafner, Vic Martinez, Cliff Lee and Jake Westbrook. The intangibles he brought to the lineup could not be measured in stats. The constant hustle, the feeling he gave you that he actually CARED about winning ballgames, the loving relationship he developed with the fans. All this stuff matters, and now he’ll be replaced by a guy named Jason Michaels who brawls with law enforcement officers.

I have been a staunch Mark Shapiro supporter since the Bartolo Colon trade. Believe it or not, I always thought he had a good vision, that team was going nowhere anyways. And then shipping a bitter, broken down Roberto Alomar was another great move, even though injuries derailed Billy Traber’s career. But when you start seeing headlines on the Indians homepage that say “Indians confident despite unpopular trade,” with Shapiro quoted as saying the alleged blue-chip propect we got for Crisp is "Not major league-ready now" and "We'd still like to see him develop a more effective two-strike approach," you start to wonder whether this team is heading in the right direction anymore. Coco has a great two-strike approach and IS major league-ready!

Shapiro continuously preached 2005 as the target date. Well Mark, 2005 is over and we were good, but didn’t make the playoffs. Was that the only shot we get? Is it all about turning a profit at this point?

My heart so desperately wants to believe winning a championship is a top priority for this ball club, but I can’t turn off that voice of reason in my head that thinks otherwise..

Story of the year

2006-01-21T00:40:00.000-08:00

Hey, you know what I can't get enough of? That clip from the Knicks/Bulls game of forward Antonio Davis running into the stands to "save" his wife. It was the ultimate damsel in distress/hero to the rescue story!

I just wish I could see more of it. Instead of just showing it 5,000 times a day, why can't ESPN show it 10,000 times? I want reverse angles, extreme close-ups and perspective from everyone from the fans sitting nearby to the hot dog vendor. Don't we have a floor cam in that row?
I want to know what Peyton Manning thinks about the situation. I want Ozzy Osbourne to write a song about it.

I'm glad I didn't have to listen to any of the national sports radio talk show hosts discussing the insignificant football games this weekend, because that may have cut into my precious Antonio time. I mean, THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE FOLKS. For heavens sakes his wife could have been killed up there! Or at least had Pepsi spilled on her Versace bag.

All Antonio, All the time. Thats my new motto.

I've already purchased a home and road Antonio Davis replica jersey on amazon.

Brokeback madness

2006-01-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

Unless you have been living under a rock, or hanging out with Osama Bin Laden lately, then you have heard all the buzz about the movie "Brokeback Mountain", a touching love story about two cowboys.

You know, I saw the initial trailers for this movie and I felt good, because I thought to myself, "finally, FINALLY the Baltimore Raven fans have a movie they can relate to!"

(da dum CHING).

NFL playoffs

2006-01-15T17:28:00.000-08:00

Seahawks 20, Redskins 10
The one game of the weekend that probably failed to surprise anybody. 'Skins played tough but were just overmatched. Mark Brunnel looks about 100-years-old back there and clearly suffers from Bernie Kosar Lead Foot disease. And this from a guy who used to be mobile.

Side note, the game featured a former Browns linebacker on each side - Warrick Holdman for the Redskins and the Seahawks' Kevin Bentley, like their time in Cleveland, however, neither were much of a factor.

Denver 27, Evil Empire 13
The Bill Belichick reign of terror is FINALLY and mercifully over - at least for now. But seriously, is there anyone outside of New England that wanted to see the Patriots win?

We all rooted them on as underdogs in 2001, even despite the Belichick thing. But this team's arrogance has grown with each victory to the point of Tom Brady's foolish mocking of Denver safety John Lynch's fist-pump celebration early in the game. Not to mention they feel NO call should or can go against them and are appalled when the media dares to pose a question with a hint of negativity (see every Tom Brady interview from the last 3 months).

Belichick's arrogance got out of hand when he decided to have Doug Flutie drop kick and extra point during week 17 for no apparent reason other than to give Chris Berman a near-orgasm on the air during NFL Primetime.

Back to the game, what was with the broadcasters making excuses for Champ Bailey pulling up at the 10 yard line on his interception return and promptly getting blasted by the Patriots Ben Watson? You want me to believe a finely tuned NFL defensive back, returning a pick in a playoff game against the defending champs with the home crowd going nuts is not going to have the adrenaline and stamina to run full speed for 100 yards? Ben Watson, a tight end no less, didn't seem to have too much trouble. Call it what it is, Bailey made an bonehead play after a great play and nearly cost Denver the game (the ball really should have been a touchback for New England).

Basically I did not enjoy last year's Super Bowl and was dreading this years had the Patriots made it. Now that they are out, THE PARTY IS ON!

Stealers 21, Colts 18
You think Tony Dungy is second guessing his decision to rest his starters for the last 5 weeks? The Colts came out flat, just as a team should when they have been playing only first quarters for over a month. I never understood this strategy for a team that had already clinched a first round bye. Those two losses late in the season removed the feeling of invincibility for the Colts and the Steelers did NOT look intimidated.

This game had some wacky officiating. Troy Palomalu was absolutely robbed of an interception. Then there was the 4th and short play where the O-line flinched, the D-line jumped across the line, the refs blew the whistles...... and NOTHING was called? Yet 10 minutes of discussions ensued, halting an already choppy game. Get it together zebras.

Post game quote from Peyton Manning, "What can you say, our idiot kicker gets liquored up and blows the game-tying field goal."

Panthers 29, Bears 21
With one running back out, a second running back leaving injured and only one receiver capable of making a big play, the Panthers did just about whatever they wanted to the "fearsome" Bears defense. After 29 points, 434 total yards and 21 first downs, NOW can we put to rest the absurdly ridiculous comparisons of the Bears defense to their 1985 counterparts? I swear, nothing has ever made me scream at my radio as much as hearing talk show hosts make that connection this year. There is not one player on this Bears team worthy of washing Mike Singletary's jock strap.

This Bears team was a fluke from the start. Benefitting from a obscenely easy schedule, they went 5-1 against division "rivals" Green Bay, Detroit and Minnesota. They couldn't handle the mighty Browns and lost. They also earned hard fought victories over "powerhouses" New Orleans (20-17), San Francisco (17-9) and Baltimore (10-6). And after all that, still only managed to go 11-5.

More Pineapple Tidbits

2006-01-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

- Good news, I know EXACTLY what to get Marcus Vick for his birthday this year. A throwback Lawrence Phillips Nebraska jersey!

- I love Herm Edwards. Nothing like a career 39-41 coach that carries himself with the esteem of a 4-time Super Bowl champ. His "straddling the edge of insanity" act during press conferences and his priceless quotes about keeping things "in house." As if there is huge demand for insight about what went on behind the scenes of the 4-12 Jets this year. If you are too lazy to refer to a Webster's dictionary to find out the meaning of "delusions of grandeur", just watch coach Edwards at work.

- Let me get this straight. Bernie Kosar made a name for himself with his uncanny ability to read and pick apart NFL defenses even at the young age of 23. Despite limited physical skills, he carved out a decent pro career by simply being the most intelligent game quarterback in the league at the time. And yet he has never once been offered a position as an offensive coordinator somewhere? makes sense...

- In his three seasons with the Houston Texans, Domanick Davis has run for 3195 yards and scored 28 touchdowns. He missed a few games this year due to injury, but in 2004 he rushed for 1188 yards, caught 68 passes for another 588 yards and reached the end zone 14 times. And the Texans have already decided on drafting Reggie Bush despite seeing David Carr's confidence and potential diminishing with each snap? makes sense..

- Speaking of Bush, with LenDale White's recent announcement of his professional intentions. Do you realize it will be back-to-back years that one school will put two running backs in the first round of the NFL draft (Auburn's Ronnie Brown and Carnell Williams went last year), simply amazing.

- I've been trying to decide what to say about the Indians concluding their free agent season with the inexplicable signing of Todd Hollandsworthless, but I simply cannot have that many four letter words on my website...I just won't do it.

Instead, I'll let my friend Shnydes sum it up in an excerpt from an email he sent to a friend back home:

"As for the Indians they suck and you can tell Grandma i said that! The White Sox are going to kick our asses everytime we play them! I hate to be so negative but Dolan Needs to sell the team! He is a cheap ass and the fans give him a pass! Byrd is injury prone.. Jason Johnson isn't better than Scott Elarton! They didn't get another bat.. they let Millwood and Bobby Howry their best relief pitcher walk.. We'll win 84 ballgames if were lucky and the fans still support those losers! I'll watch from afar but i have better things to do! They had they're chance last year and they choked! They didn't address the needs of the team! They signed a bunch of stiff pitchers who were good 10 years ago in Karsay and Graves! Well Graves is an appropriate name because that's the type of baseball Cleveland is used too and next year will be the same! I feel sorry for all of us because we will all be dead by the time any Cleveland team wins! I guarantee it! The City is a black Hole and it sucks the life out of you! "Woe is me" is the theme.. Until People boycott the games and demand a winner it will never happen! They can say all they want about how this is a small market... BullSHit! This team sold out 5 straight years.... Dolan is ripping off the Fans! I'm done with that stuff.. Auntie Shirley do me this favor, do a lot of traveling and riding in your boat in Sandusky this summer because I want you to enjoy yourself and don't get caught up with those losers at the Jake! I'm sorry to write all of this but it's the Truth and I'm not much of a bullshitter anyways.Seriously anything less than a WORLD SERIES, NBA TITLE, or A SUPERBOWL is unacceptable! We've waited all of our lives! Damn It we Deserve it! I will not accept Mediocrity any more!"

All I can say is I could not have said it better myself and I'm glad there isn't a tax on exclamation points.

Pat Riley

2006-01-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

Today we will take a brief break from the abyss that is Cleveland sports to pay some long overdue tribute. Some of you may have seen an email circulating which points out some lesser known facts about Chuck Norris. Well I felt it only justice the same be done for the man who told Jeff Van Gundy's brother to take a hike, "you are only keeping the bench warm for me."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.....PAT RILEY!

-When Pat Riley took over the Lakers, Kareem Abdul- Jabbar was only 6’5", he tied jabbar’s wrists to the rim of the basket and stretched him to 7’ 1" because he “needed a center.”

-Pat Riley doesn’t use gel or mousse to slick his hair back, he uses scalding hot bacon grease because he says the pain builds character.

-James A. Naismith invented basketball because he was worried about what Pat Riley would say if he had been born without a game to coach.

-While other students were finger painting in pre-school, a young Pat Riley was perfecting the fast break.

-Pat Riley doesn’t age, he hardens

-After he resigned from coaching, the Lakers placed a bronze statue of Pat Riley outside the Great Western Forum. It was actually Riley himself and he stood there motionless for 10 years until he got bored and walked away.

and finally, from my friend BP in T-town:

Pat Riley doesn’t look good because of Armani suits, Armani suits look good because of Pat Riley.

I have a voice!

2006-01-07T23:39:00.000-08:00

While it comes as no surprise to this scribe, apparently I can add Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown to my growing list of faithful readers. I know this because Brown heard my pleas, took my advice and more than doubled Luke Jackson's playing time last night against the Bucks.

The 11 minutes Jackson played was more action than the forward had seen in the previous seven games combined. The Luker had not eclipsed double digits in minutes in a game since December 20 against the Jazz.

So how did he respond? Seven points, two rebounds, two assists and a steal. Not bad for less than a quarter of action.

So coach Brown, if you are reading, and I KNOW you are. More Luke Jackson, LESS Ira Newble, please! Get The Luker on the floor 15-20 minutes a game, you won't regret it.

Rocketman

2006-01-06T05:41:00.000-08:00

A couple thoughts from the excruciating Cavs/Rockets game on TNT last night.

-I realize Tracy McGrady is a superstar, but does he have to save ALL his best games for us? Couldn't he have left to deliver a baby at halftime or something?

-Whats the deal with Juwan Howard lighting us up everytime we play him? Why doesn't he just show up with Michigan shorts on because thats the last time he looked as good as he does when we play him. I was waiting for him to come out with a blindfold on to start the fourth quarter.

-Luke Jackson came in early in the game, showed great energy on defense, grabbed a couple boards, made a great cut to the hoop for an easy two with Ilgauskas posting up (as opposed to the normal Cavalier trend of standing and watching) and had the fans chanting "LUUUUKE" the whole time. So of course the only logical thing for Mike Brown to do was bench him the rest of the game. What the hell? Luke was so far from the court at times, I think I saw him in row four soliciting a vendor for a hotdog. Shouldn't the goal of a coach in any sport be to play the hottest players?

-Just when you think the Cavs are turning the corner, they revert back to nasty old habits of allowing countless uncontested layups and standing around on offense. It is starting to look like they will win about 46-49 games this year and lose a hard-fought first round playoff series. With this, I will NOT be happy.

Big Win, Bigger Injury??

2006-01-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

Quick post today, I will have thoughts on the BCS national championship game and some NFL draft thoughts later today or tomorrow.

Well the Cavs finally got a big road win over a good team in Milwaukee, unfortunately they lost Larry Hughes for six to eight weeks with a broken finger. It will be interesting to see how they hold up without Hughes, hopefully Anderson Varejao will come back soon and make the same impact he made on games last year.

Good signs: The Cavs seem to be playing more defense lately. LeBron has given up on shooting for 50 every night as evidenced by his triple-double last night. This guy is like Magic Johnson, he doesn't need to score 40 points to completely dominate a game, but we do need his rebounds and assists to be successful.

On thing that scares me. The way the Cavs are playing, they are almost certainly headed for a fourth or fifth seed in the playoffs this summer. The bad thing about that is they would meet the top-seeded Pistons in the second round - ouch.

Boys To Men

2005-12-31T15:55:00.000-08:00

When it comes to sports, we must be careful of placing too much emphasis on one regular season game. Anything can happen on any given day. Any team can look like champions and any team can look like a disgrace, thats why they play 82 games in basketball, 162 in baseball and 16 in football, so the truly good teams are left standing at the end.

Having said that, the Cavalier victory today over the Detroit Pistons felt a little more significant than just a normal win.

First, the Cavs pretty much controlled the game from opening tip to the final buzzer, winning by 13 points.

Second, the Pistons were 24-3, 24-3!!! ESPN has already begun with the comparisons to the Bulls team that won 70. I've even heard the "greatest team ever" tag being floated. Bottomline, this team is seriously good and they have been together for awhile.

So taking into consideration how good the Pistons are, it makes you wonder how good the Cavs are, or rather a better question, how good COULD the Cavs be?

Sure its possible the Cavs just had a great day at the Q and the Pistons had their minds on New Years Rockin' Eve parties, but how many NBA teams cannot even beat the Pistons on their best day?

Is it not also possible the Cavs, with new coach and several new players on the roster, are finally starting to jel and finally realizing their true potential?

I've been very critical of this Cavs team over the last two years. I've found several creative ways to call them soft, but if they keep playing games like they did today against the Pistons. I may need to issue some apologies.

False Alarm!

2005-12-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

Well,
now we hear Savage was NOT fired. It was all an elaborate April Fools day prank by ESPN's Chris Mortensen.....in December..?

Who exactly was Mortensen's source on this one? a disgruntled equipment manager?

Personnally, If this was all just a "rumor" as they Browns now claim, I think its time ESPN takes Mort behind the woodshed and do him Old Yeller-style.

Either way, this is just embarassing. What other organization goes through constant drama like this? What the hell is going on in Berea, its a freaking circus over there.

Yet another sad chapter in the horror story that is the "new" Cleveland Browns.

Savage gone already?!!

2005-12-30T11:19:00.000-08:00

I must say I'm pretty stunned to hear the Browns are whacking general manager Philly Savage already.

The report says, "philosophical differences." Perhaps those differences are the Browns ownership actually intended to WIN some games this year.

I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. On one hand, its good to see them respond to a dismal season and the latest "behind the woodshed" beating delivered by the Steelers. On the other hand, no organization in sports can accomplish anything replacing front office and coaching personnel so frequently.

I'm sure there is more to the story.

Things I'm sick of..

2005-12-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

1. Romeo Crennel’s annoyed attitude and demeanor during postgame press conferences. He reminds me of the little kid that scatters his toys all over the room, makes a big mess, then pouts in the corner when his mom says he has to clean them up if he wants a snack. Hey Romeo, you think you have it bad? Those journalists have to watch AND write about your putrid team every week.

2. The Cavaliers inability to beat a good team on the road. Did anyone expect them to beat the Nets Tuesday? I really should have logged on to one of those sports gambling sites and bet on the Nets because it was guaranteed money. Has this Cavs team ever defeated a team over .500 on the road?

3. The Indians front office spinning bargain basement free agent signings as if they landed some diamond in the rough. I mean were they even competing with anybody for Jason Johnson’s services?

4. Cleveland State basketball. Does anyone else remember when they could actually field a competitive team? This is the same school that advanced to the sweet 16 of the NCAA Tournament in 1986 with Kenny “Mouse” McFadden and Eric Mudd, now they are dropping games to the Texaco All-stars. There is so much potential there for a competitive college basketball program: nice arena, big city, large potential fan base, yet they continue to flounder. Have they reached the point they should just dismantle the whole thing, what is the point anymore?

5. Ben Taylor.

6. Watching Zydrunas Ilgauskas watch opposing ball handlers breeze past him en route to yet another uncontested layup.

7. Hoping every year that a new Mark Price-type athlete will emerge in Cleveland, and being let down every year.

8. Having to root for Damon Jones, only because he wears a Cavalier uniform……ONLY because he wears a Cavalier uniform.

9. Watching teams from other cities that were once great, go through an entire breaking down and rebuilding process to once again find greatness after years of irrelevance, while in the same timeframe we have done nothing. (See: Detroit Pistons, Cincinnati Bengals).

10. Bill Belichick. I know, I should be over it by now and I should never use the word “hate” and I should get the oil in my vehicle changed every 3,000 miles. But I literally hate that man for what he is doing in New England and what he could not do in Cleveland. Its just so inexplicable to me. Its like Jane Campbell being elected mayor of Detroit, and promptly luring Microsoft away from Seattle, Delta Air Lines from Atlanta and Federal Express away from Memphis – all in her first term. Its like Nick Lachey finally throwing in the towel on the singing career and becoming the next Tom Hanks of Hollywood. I will never accept Bill Belichick as the “greatest coach ever”, not unless he comes back to Cleveland and wins a Super Bowl, in which case, I will assist in the contruction of a bronze statue in his honor.

Hitting Rock Bottom

2005-12-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

Does anyone remember the Browns first game back in 1999? It was a magical September night when the new Cleveland Browns Stadium was officially opened to a national television audience as the Browns triumphantly charged onto the field for the first time since 1995.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, however, played the role of party pooper as well as they possibly could, thrashing the Browns 43-0. At the time, while we all hated that final score but understood it would take some time to mold a competitive football team from scratch.

Well here we are more than six years later, and I DON'T understand anymore! Head coach Romeo Crennel does not get a pass for what transpired on the football field Christmas Eve. The Steelers 41-0 drubbing over an uninspired Browns squad was not only infuriating, but spoke volumes on the guy the Browns chose to lead this team back to respectiblility.

For all the apologists, lets look at the Miami Dolphins. Last year, both the Browns and Dolphins went 4-12. Both teams replaced their head coach with a rookie NFL head coach. When the two teams met this season, the Browns even defeated the 'Phins 22-0! So what has happened since?

One team has showed admirable progress and improvement from week to week while playing their hearts out for the rookie coach. The other has regressed to the point of losing the fan base and allowing a bitter division rival to walk into their own building and dominate from opening kickoff to final whistle, all the while shaming the home team's fans by waiving yellow towels throughout the contest.

The Dolphins have won five straight and are finishing the season strong at 8-7, giving their fans something to feel optimistic about for next year. The Browns are limping towards the finish line with seemingly little interest anymore. The Pittsburgh Steelers, having already disgraced the Browns on ESPN earlier in the year, came into the Stadium and smacked the Browns right in the mouth. And when the Browns failed to retaliate, they smacked them again, just for good measure, and then walked off hand in hand with the Browns' girlfriend.

My fellow Browns fans, there have been several times since 1999 when we were sure we had bottomed out and could get no lower. I want to believe it cannot get any worse than it is right now, we must go up from here.

Maybe if I say it a few more times I'll start to believe it.

M.I.A.

2005-12-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

My apologies to my loyal readers, I have been traveling recently and was unable to post anything new. I have been following the Cleveland sports scene, as usual, and here are some thoughts of recent doings:

The Browns won U-G-L-Y Sunday over a disgusting Raiders team. Yeah it sucks they are blowing their top ten draft pick, but you do not want to end the season on a six-game losing streak, trust me. Losing is contagious, like a virus. Having said that, I'm not ready make plans to attend Charlie Frye's Hall of Fame induction ceremony just yet. Yes, he's the best option the Browns have, but lets see what he does next year.

Also, I know its not the Browns style, but we SERIOUSLY need to address both lines. The D-line is non-existent. I'm not even sure they all make it to the field each series. The O-line has been better than years past, but still really inconsistent. ADDRESS THIS IN THE DRAFT, FOR ONCE!! Football games are won and lost on the line of scrimmage, its that simple.

The Indians have just wrapped up "Welcome Home Week" with the signings of Danny Graves and Steve Karsay(two guys who are about 32 going on 50) following the Tim Laker (re)signing earlier in the week. I don't know how long this trend is going to last, but if I see Robby Alomar or Kenny Lofton lumbering around in a Tribe uniform next year, I may go off the deep end.

One guy I REALLY want on the Indians is Reggie Sanders. Lets go and get this freaking guy, he's clearly the best option for a right fielder out there. Yes, I know he's 38, but just two years ago he cracked 31 dongs and drove in 87 runs for the Pirates, no less. Rondell White, though five years younger, has not eclipsed the 20-homer mark since 1999.

Pineapple Tidbits

2005-12-10T23:06:00.000-08:00

- If the Celtics can have a player named Gerald Green, then the Cavs need a player named Wynan Gold.

- The funniest thing in sports right now is Trent Dilfer's bitter, surly attitude about being benched in favor of rookie Chuck Frye. Not only has Touchdown(less) Trent not been able to move the ball this year, but he really has not moved the ball for any team at any other point of his career. Its like a bus driver filing a grievance for being fired after two accidents and three DUIs on the job.

- You know, I tore my ACL in my left knee in high school. Does this mean I am a potential first round draft pick for the Browns next year? I'm just asking, because I'm not really in football shape.

- Well, we asked for it and by golly the Indians delivered. We wanted a big-name free agent, and ladies and gentlemen I present you.......LOU MERLONI!! So who else has already pre-ordered their 2006 World Series Champions DVD?? (crickets..)

- If there was ever a time I wish I could be a fly on the wall, its when Indians GM Mark Shapiro approaches owner Larry "tightpockets" Dolan about a potential free agent signing.

Shapiro: Hey boss, we think we may have found the answer to our woes in right field.

Dolan: (aggitated) How much?

Shapiro: We are probably looking at $5 million per year.

Dolan: (abruptly) No

Shapiro: Sir, I think we should discuss thi..

Dolan: NO

Shapiro: Its just we are so close

Dolan: (pressing button on phone) SECURITY!

- Somebody posted something similar to this on a Cavs message board and got me thinking. Has an individual ever singlehandedly destroyed a single professional sports franchise as a player AND a general manager the way Danny Ferry seems to be doing? And yes, I'm referring to the Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Damon Jones signings.

- Listening to the extremely enthusiastic Cavaliers game announcer Ronnie Duncan, I now have a new fantasy. Just once, I'd love to hear him wail, "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaay GUIDINGER!" You know, just for fun.

- Speaking of Guidinger, here's some audience participation. I would like all of you to email me your favorite "bad" athlete of all-time and why. For example, my friend Shnydes and I love Jay Guidinger because he was the Original White Stiff. He was the white stiff by which all future white stiffs are judged. Submissions can be posted here or sent to me, thanks!

RIP Bud Carson

2005-12-08T10:32:00.000-08:00

Former Browns head coach Bud Carson died yesterday at age 74.

While reading the news release about Carson, I was reminded of how brief his stint in Cleveland was, he did not complete his second season.

The amazing thing is, Carson went 9-6-1 in his first season in Cleveland in 1989. Not only did he win the AFC Central division, but advanced to the AFC Championship before falling to the Denver Broncos. The next season, The Browns dropped seven of their first nine contests, and Carson was unceremoniously dismissed.

Its a stunning commentary on the stark differences in philosophy between the old Browns (Ravens) and the current Browns. Mediocrity was simply not tolerated. Imagine if Carson had coached these Browns. We would be told his 2-7 record was deceiving and urged to be patient. The front office and even some of the myopic fans would plead the team's case, claiming it takes several years to build a champion, it doesn't happen overnite.

That is why we are still bitter about Art Modell moving our team to Baltimore. Those Ravens, OUR Browns, won a Super Bowl in 2000, and we have been supplied with Arizona Cardinals-East, a perenially losing franchise that makes 8 mistakes for every good move. Faces and names of coaches and general managers continuously change, however the ineptitude remains constant.

The old Browns were proud and competitive. Fans still mention names of players like Kevin Mack, Clay Matthews and Ozzie Newsome only in hushed tones. They literally lived for Sundays in the fall, when the orange and brown was playing.

That franchise is gone, however. Just like the fun football used to provide for Clevelanders.

Fiesta!

2005-12-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

So the Bowl Championship Series did the right thing and matched THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY with Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, January 2.

This is clearly the best matchup, despite claims from several sportswriters that the Oregon Ducks, who finished 10-1, were snubbed.

First of all, who, outside of Oregon, actually knows or cares about the Ducks? Guess what Daffy fans, ratings matter because they translate into dollars, and that is all the BCS is concerned with anyway right?

The Ducks went 10-1 playing in the Pac 10 conference. Which is like a prosecuting attorney getting excited about putting Robert Downey Jr. away on possession charges, WOO HOO!

Isn't the Pac 10 just USC and "teams USC practices against en route to the Rose Bowl" or whatever the national championship bowl may be that year?

Finally, what really destroyed Oregon's chances was probably the BCS committee's reluctance to accept a team coached by a guy who supports murderers. Not too mention those retina searing uniforms!

Brainwashed fans

2005-12-04T22:43:00.000-08:00

I logged in to the clevelandbrowns.com message board after yet another Browns defeat today, expecting to read a myriad of angry, bitter fans unleashing their scathing diatribes upon the pathetic organization that is the Cleveland Browns.

Amazingly, I didn't find much anger, but rather vivid rays of sunshine showering a serene dandelion covered field of optimism. I'll paraphrase the most common comments posted:

Hey, Charlie (Frye) looked great today in the first half!

It was good to see Droughns get over 1000 yards for the season.

The refs really hosed us on that one call, otherwise we are RIGHT THERE!

and the most common, We didn't really expect anything this year anyways, lets give Crennel a few years to turn it around!

Ok.........WHAT?!! Let me dust off my megaphone here, THEY LOST! THEY ARE PERHAPS THE MOST PATHETIC SPORTS FRANCHISE IN THE COUNTRY RIGHT NOW!

And you know what is fueling that disturbing trend? The brainwashed fans that continue to accept mediocrity. Actually, mediocrity is a compliment to these guys.

Do you realize the Browns are 34-74 since the return in '99? That is a record that makes even the Washington Generals cringe. Whats worse, unless the Browns miraculously win three+ of their final four games this season, they will have a double digit loss total for three consecutive years for the first time in the history of the Cleveland Browns. Read that sentence again, I'm not just talking about this team, I'm talking about ALL Cleveland Browns.

The Indianapolis Colts have won 12 football games this year. The Browns have won 13 games THE LAST THREE SEASONS!

My point is this, as long as these fans continue to flock to the stadium like sheep to support the garbage on the field, nothing will change. We will continue to hear coaches attempt to convince us the team "made great strides" and "played their guts out" following a 24-3 loss. We will continue to gush over rookie quarterbacks from the University of Akron, of all places, instead of rooting for proven commodities that can actually win football games. (Not saying Frye won't be good someday, just that there should have been a better veteran option than Trent freakin Dilfer for gosh sakes. I think I'd take Doug Flutie over Dilfer, at least he has a cereal!)

The only way to make a statement to a professional sports franchise is to hit them the only place it hurts - in the wallet. The Indians won 93 games this year and they are still trying to figure out how to get attendance back to where it was in the mid 90's.

If the Browns are going to continue this perpetual rebuilding process for the upcoming years, decades, centuries, and are not offering ticket discounts until they are ready to compete, then sit at home and WATCH the games for free until the product on the field is worth paying for.

Its a lot warmer anyways and the traffic is much more manageable...

Cavalier _ _ fense

2005-12-02T22:53:00.000-08:00

The "De" was left out in the title because when the Cavs are playing, there simply is NO "De". But there is a fense, or fence, and that fence is old and rusty and not keeping anything out of the yard, or in this case the paint.

Yes, LeBron is loaded with offensive skills. Yes Damon Jones and Donyell Marshall can get hot and drain some 3's. And yes, Larry Hughes takes some of the heat off LeBron. But the sad truth is, until this team either learns or decides to play some semblance of defense, they just won't be a dominant basketball team.

Any old-school NBA fans may remember when the Golden State Warriors had "Run TMC"in the mid to late 80's; Tim Hardaway, Mitch Richmond and Chris Mullin. Those Warrior teams could light up the scoreboard and pretty much run all the lower-tier NBA teams out of the arena. Not unlike these Cavs, however, the Warriors weren't much interested in rolling up the sleaves to actually stop the opposition from scoring. The result, you could expect 46-52 wins out of them every year, and an anticlimactic first or second round exit from the playoffs.

Until something changes in Cleveland, don't expect any more than that out of LeBron's Cavs anytime soon.

Email me.

2005-12-02T14:19:00.000-08:00

Any readers can email me questions, comments or concerns at northeast39@yahoo.com. Hopefully when i receive enough response, I will run a "mailbag" type column.

But I must ask, please no marriage proposals and I do not provide astrological advice (once Miss Cleo got pinched, we all got out of the bidness!).

DeSagana Flop

2005-12-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

While watching the Dallas Mavericks vs. San Antonio Spurs game last night, I couldn't help but notice one of the Mavericks players. He was a lean, mean rebounding machine, grabbing boards as if they were winning lottery tickets. He was also extremely active on the defensive end, something Mavericks fans aren't used to seeing from their players.

So who was this up-and-comer? It was none other than Cavalier castoff DeSagana Diop (pronounced "jop" for those who failed to pick up on the genius of this post title).

You may remember Diop as the high schooler the Cavs drafted in 2001 who spent most of his three seasons in Cleveland looking more lost than a Republican at an ACLU headquarters. He was fat, slow, uncoordinated and patented several unflattering moves such as the "line drive jump shot that smacks the front of the rim so hard the referee has to stop play to make sure he didn't inadvertantly knock it off-center" and the "attempt to set a pick but accidentally tripping your teammate causing him to fall and get whistled for traveling."

Now the TNT broadcasters were raving about Diop's presence and how he dropped 60 pounds during the offseason. A quick check of the stats shows the Lasagna man (I call him that because his first name looks like Lasagna) actually posted a 16 rebound, six block game against the Nuggets two weeks ago! I'm not sure he had 16 rebounds total in his years in Cleveland, now he's the next Dennis Rodman?

I guess we can cut Diop some slack, afterall weren't we all 19 once and did we all not potentially blow multimillion dollar opportunities because we were fat, lazy and unmotivated to improve at our jobs? I thought so.

Oh the joy of being a Cleveland fan, it just gets better and better.

Break out the PINKS!

2005-11-30T19:04:00.000-08:00

Now this is something that should have happened long ago, but now is as good a time as any for Browns coach Romeo Crennel to break out an alternate Browns jersey - replacing all orange with PINK!!

Sure pink isn't a color conducive to a physical game like football, but in case you haven't noticed, neither are most of the players on the Browns roster. I say make them earn their colors back with quality play on the field, and then, and ONLY then, can you have the brown and orange back. Until then, GO PINK!

In other news, the Indians are once again the fat chick left out of baseball's free agency prom this year, making little to no effort to sign or even resign quality players, preferably Pitchers.
Alas, I think I have discovered the problem. While Tribe owner Larry "tightpockets" Dolan IS indeed taking some time away from clipping coupons out of the Sunday Plain Dealer to make player offers, the prospect of making $13.50 an hour and an OUTSTANDING benefits package isn't very enticing when other teams are throwing tens of millions on the table. Not to mention the rumors some of the higher paid Indians players (isn't "higher paid Indians players" an oxymoron?) are required to "lend a helping hand" with such menial taskings as helping load luggage for road trips and clubhouse cleanup.
Oh that Dolan, what a character!!

Addendum

2005-11-29T18:02:00.000-08:00

Just to add on to my intro.

Don't expect me to try to break any news stories or break down contract talks on here, I'll leave that stuff for the boys at the PD .

Finally, sometimes I intend to step outside the boundaries of just the Cleveland sports scene as it tends to depress the soul. We will see how it goes, hopefully I will receive some feedback to guide me.

First Post

2005-11-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

Since this is the first post, let me take a minute to explain what this will be about.

Those who know me know I am a professional writer. Unfortunately I am not always fortunate enough to write about the things I love - primarily SPORTS.

Being from Cleveland, I have a LOT to rant about, afterall, we are the most tortured sports city in the country (woo hoo, eat that Seattle!).

I will be discussing the Cleveland sports teams (Indians, Cavaliers and the Clowns), and the bumbling fools who run the teams.