Pat Riley

Today we will take a brief break from the abyss that is Cleveland sports to pay some long overdue tribute. Some of you may have seen an email circulating which points out some lesser known facts about Chuck Norris. Well I felt it only justice the same be done for the man who told Jeff Van Gundy's brother to take a hike, "you are only keeping the bench warm for me."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.....PAT RILEY!

-When Pat Riley took over the Lakers, Kareem Abdul- Jabbar was only 6’5", he tied jabbar’s wrists to the rim of the basket and stretched him to 7’ 1" because he “needed a center.”

-Pat Riley doesn’t use gel or mousse to slick his hair back, he uses scalding hot bacon grease because he says the pain builds character.

-James A. Naismith invented basketball because he was worried about what Pat Riley would say if he had been born without a game to coach.

-While other students were finger painting in pre-school, a young Pat Riley was perfecting the fast break.

-Pat Riley doesn’t age, he hardens

-After he resigned from coaching, the Lakers placed a bronze statue of Pat Riley outside the Great Western Forum. It was actually Riley himself and he stood there motionless for 10 years until he got bored and walked away.

and finally, from my friend BP in T-town:

Pat Riley doesn’t look good because of Armani suits, Armani suits look good because of Pat Riley.