Monday, August 28, 2006

'Invincible' reviewed

Sports bigamy is a serious offense.

I actually can't think of a worse crime a sports fan can commit. And I'm not talking about writing your home team off for a viable reason - much like I have done to the Indians this year - I'm talking about writing the Indians off and rooting for the Red Sox. You just DON'T do that.

Having said that, I can specifically think of one glaring example when sports bigamy would be acceptable. If you have a close friend, high school or college teammate or a relative who plays for another team in any sport, then and ONLY then is it acceptable to root against your home team.

For example, If one of my high school teammates at Midpark had gone on to play for the Detroit Lions, it would be perfectly acceptable for me to root for said teammate when the Lions came to Cleveland for a game.

Why am I explaining all this? Because this subject happens to be my one stinging criticism of the movie, 'Invincible' - thats why.

Without spoiling the movie for anyone, a love interest of Vince Papale, played by Mark Wahlberg, is a Giants fan from New York. Nothing wrong with that. But when she attends a game in which Papale is PLAYING FOR the Eagles, donning Giants gear and rooting for the men in blue obnoxiously amidst chagrined Eagles fans, that is about as tasteless as Wheaties with no sugar sprinkled on them.

As far as the rest of the movie goes, it was very well done. I loved the feel of city life in Philadelphia circa 1975-76. Greg Kinnear turns in a fantastic portrayal of Dick Vermeil - as chef Gordon Ramsey would say, "Spot on!"

The game scenes were spectacular. My heart hate was significantly elevated during certain points.

It didn't spark my emotions quit like Rudy did, a movie Invincible has most commonly been compared to. But it did have a few Bill Simmons' "chill scenes."

As far as historical accuracy goes, the filmakers didn't seem to take too many liberties to add dramatic effect. While watching clips of the real Papale at the culmination of the movie, however, I noticed Papale was rather tall and lanky. When I looked him up later, I found out he was actually 6 foot 2 inches tall. Its kind of a stretch to have a 5 foot 8 Wahlberg, who is built more like a running back than a receiver, playing him.

Other than that, it was difficult to find much else to complain about. True sports fans will always approach sports flicks with a hint of skepticism. But "Invincible" does not disappoint. It didn't approach "Rudy" proportions for me, but certainly an enjoyable football movie that did not make me cringe like past duds such as "Any Given Sunday" or "The REplacements."

final rating: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Dawg days of August (greatest Browns)

Now that we have reached that annual lull between the excitement of the start of training camp, the obligatory "only in Cleveland" devastating injury and the first game of the regular season, I thought I would take a break to do something fun.

This year, I am celebrating my 20th year as a Browns fan. And no, that doesn't mean I'm 20 years old. I'm not one of those morons that equate their amount of time on this planet with years of fandom. I obviously wasn't rooting for the Browns in between diaper changings and naps when I was a baby.

1986 was the first season I followed the Browns. Yes it was the season that culminated in "The Drive." Which means my second full season lead to "The Fumble." You think I wasn't a bitter young man?

Anyways, I thought I would come up with the top 3 Browns at each position of the last 20 years, or my fan lifetime. This way the list will only include players I actually watched play. Plus, don't tell me you don't get bored with all the Jim Brown, Otto Graham dominated lists. Those guys were great and deserve reverance, but their history is becoming ancient. Jim Brown may as well have played with a leather helmet and a sweater at this point.

Well enough babbling, lets get it started:

Quarterback:

1. Bernie Kosar
2. Vinny Testaverde
3. Tim Couch

How jarring is it that Tim Couch is the Browns' third best QB of the past two decades? Now I don't think Timmy was nearly as bad as some people, but he pretty much wins the spot by default, other candidates include: Mike Pagel, Todd Philcox, Doug Pederson, Spurgeon Wynn, Kelly Holcomb and Jeff Garcia. Thats a list of stiffs that makes the county morgue jealous.

Running Back:

1. Kevin Mack
2. Eric Metcalf
3. Earnest Byner

This category was T-U-F-F tough! I wanted to drop Byner out because he choked in one of the most significant games of my childhood, but like Earnest scoring the touchdown, I just couldn't do it. Rueben Droughns was fantastic last year, but he needs at least two seasons to make the list. Leroy Hoard was the closest to Byner, but I was surprised to discover he only really had one standout year with the Browns, rushing for 890 yards in 1994. Amazingly, Hoard scored 36 career touchdowns - he was wearing a Minnesota Vikings helmet for 23 of them. Honorable metion: Herman Fontenot

Wide Receiver:

1. Webster Slaughter
2. Kevin Johnson
3. Brian Brennan

Another tough one that I'm sure I'll receive much feedback on. Slaughter and KJ were gimmes. Johnson, if for nothing more than the fact he put up more than 900 yards and 8 touchdowns during the dreadful '99 expansion season. I chose Brennan over Mike Jackson and my personal favorite, Reggie Langhorne for different reasons. Jackson because he always suffered from the dropsies, despite his big play ability. Also, he waited until 1996, or first with the RAVENS, to have a breakout year with career highs in yards and touchdowns.

Langhorne and Brennan were both secondary options behind Slaughter, but Brennan had the best hands on the team. For any third and short passing situation, Brennan was THE guy. Guys with hands like his are valuable even in today's game.

Tight End:

1. Ozzie Newsome
2. Steve Heiden
3. Brian Kinchen

Yes you read that right, Brian Kinchen. After moving from long snapper, Kinchen actually enjoyed three respectable seasons between '93-'95. Truth is, after The Wizard, it gets pretty thin at TE. I kicked around names like Scott Galbraith and Aaron Shea, but could not, in good conscience, put then on the list. Honorable mention goes to Mark Bavaro, who was good, but played just one vaguely memorable year in Cleveland.

Offensive Lineman:

1. Mike Baab
2. Tony Jones
3. Cody Risien

You don't truly appreciate these guys until you don't have them anymore. The three above were mainstays and left gaping holes once they left. Honorable mention goes to Dan Fike and Steve Everett. The latter mainly because he wore the Browns do-rag under his Ravens helmet in 1996. Now THAT, my friends is loyalty and class.

Kicker:

1. Phil Dawson
2. Matt Bahr
3. Matt Stover

Dawson has had quite a long stint as the Browns kicker. Not only is he fairly consistent, but he has proved time and again he is actually a "football player" as well. He will readily dive into a wave of opponents to grab an onside kick or put his head down and dive across the goalline on a fake field goal. Yes, Philly does it all.

I hated to include Stover, a guy who has done so much for the Ravens, but other than those three, you are looking at Jerry Kauric and Mark Moseley?

So that is it for the offense. I will do the defense tomorrow. Now I strongly encourage anybody who disagrees to voice your opinion. Lists like these are completely subjective. I don't claim to be the authority on all things Cleveland, so please, challenge me.


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