HOT! UPDATE!

Just an update from my post last night. I logged on to Cleveland.com this morning to discover Plain Dealer columnist Bill Livingston wrote essentially the SAME THING!!

click here

I'm not sure if I should feel good about this or not, afterall, it is Bill Livingston.

Tank Job version 2.0

I'm not in a good mood tonight.

Its not every night you find out your hometown professional basketball team is comprised of a collection of wimps, sissies and yella-bellies.

Yes, I'm talking about the Cadavers...err Cavaliers. It is really unfathomable how much this season is resembling last season. Virtually identical won-loss records at the All-Star break, and both years they come out flatter than a jailhouse pancake.

Here what disturbs me most. Aside from the obvious losing of games. Sunday afternoon, they weren't just defeated by Detroit on national television, they were absolutely DESTROYED by the Pistons. Rasheed Wallace cracked big Z upside the head, knocked down a few jumpers, and promptly spent the rest of the game cackling on the bench as the network provided about 835 cutaways to the Detroit bench. Every time, without fail, there was good 'ol 'Sheed laughing it up at the hapless Cavaliers trying to play basketball.

So of course, the Cavs came out with fire in their eyes tonight at "The Q," determined to wipe that sickening grim of Wallace's face and teach him and the rest of the Pistons that NOBODY will push them around in their house, right? RIGHT?

Of course not, instead, the marshmallow-soft Cavaliers continued to get out-hustled, and out-muscled and flat-out outplayed as the Pistons cruised for yet another easy win. Worst of all, the Cavs did not turn the game physical or even attempt to look the least bit upset about being completely owned by another team.

Is there one player on this team that has any stones? Where is the shoving, elbowing, arm-barring? Why won't they do ANYTHING to take Detroit out of their game? The Cavs have established they are far from the best defensive team in the league, so why not take a page out of Larry Bird's book and give Rasheed a reason to get himself ejected?

Are you telling me if Stephen Graham delivers consecutive elbows to 'Sheed's abdomin on picks, that Wallace isn't going to absolutely blow his top and probably punt a basketball into the stands at some point, eventually leaving the court with no shirt on as the fans mockingly waive him goodbye?

Nope, not these Cavs. They are all playing their "boys." They slap hands and chest bump prior to tipoff and after the Pistons have delivered an ass whoopin'. There are no hard feelings. Afterall, they were just the better team right? Its enough to make you want to vomit.

I'll leave you all with an actual quote from Mr. Wallace himself, commenting on Ilgauskas half-hearted attempt to give Rasheed a hard foul. This pretty much sums it all up:

The two tangled again in the rematch, but Wallace simply laughed when Ilgauskas shoved him to the floor in the second quarter.

"I guess that was his wannabe retaliation," Wallace said. "I started laughing and got a [technical foul] for that."

Spring Preview: The Pitchers

Ok, I am going to attempt to curtail my negativity today while discussing the Tribe pitching staff. Gone are favorites Bobby "lights out" Howry and David Riske, as well as effective part-time employee Artie Rhodes. All of the sudden the best bullpen in baseball may revert back to 2004 form. You'll remember that unit for their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory no matter what the score was. No lead was safe.

Anyways, without further ado, YOUR 2006 TRIBE PITCHING STAFF, cleverly grouped into applicable categories:

The "Sure Thing" Group
C.C. Sabathia - probably the best we have, although his decision to play in the ridiculous World Baseball Classic makes Al Lerner's decision to hire Butchered Davis look savvy.

Cliff Lee - I don't think Lee will ever evolve into an "Ace", however he is a great won-loss guy and will make a solid # 3 behind Sabathia and..

Paul Byrd - I seriously debated whether or not to include him in this group. I just have this horrible vision of him pitching in an early May game and clutching his elbow after a pitch, and never returning. Lets hope I'm wrong.

Jake Westbrook - The Jaker recovered nicely to win 15 games last year after a horrendous start in which he looked like a Corvette in a blizzard. Should be good for another 15-win season.

The "Must Come Through" Group
Rafael Betancourt - With the bully so depleted, the Indians absolutely NEED consistency from this guy. And that means staying away from the "Mr. Bigs juice" Raffy!!

Matt Miller - Hard to place such expectations from a guy who missed significant time last season due to injury, but he has been very effective the last two seasons and the Tribe needs him to bridge the cap from the starters to the set-up man, whoever that may be.

Bob Wickman - once again Tribe fans are stuck in the unenviable position of having to rely on a closer that could unravel at any moment. True he was effective last year while causing near-coronaries with each appearance. But doesn't it just seem like he's on borrowed time and his luck could run out at any second? I mean, he's bigger than any Browns lineman, he had major arm surgery a few years ago, he's rapidly approaching 40 and he's missing parts of two fingers on his PITCHING HAND no less. He scares me more than Jason Voorhies.

The Infirmary Group
Guillermo Mota - Ok, I can understand the Crisp/Marte part of the trade. Actually I lied, I don't understand that part. By I really don't understand why we felt the need to throw in a semi-reliable Riske for a guy with elbow AND shoulder problems? When he did pitch last season, he posted an unspectacular 4.70 ERA. Here's my theory, in 2003 the Dodgers pitched Mota 76 times for 105 innings setting up Gagne. In 2004 he logged another 96.2 innings and 78 appearances between Los Angeles and Florida. Does it really surprise anyone he now has arm problems? I mean thats about as predictable as a Peyton Manning playoff collapse.

Kaz Tadano - Has been hampered with a bulging disc in his lower back for the last two years. I suppose we should be glad that headlines involving the word "bulging" are about his back and not something else.

Jason Stanford - I have to be honest, when I saw the spring roster I could not believe this guy was still on the team. He has made a grand total of two appearances the last two seasons. I realize he had Tommy John surgery, but don't guys come back from that nowadays? Did he get the 1988 version by mistake? Finally, does he show up to collect his paycheck with a ski mask and 9 millimeter pistol?
The sad part is Stanford, when not hurt or getting into scuffles in the Flats, has looked really good. He has to show me he can pitch again before I start ordering my "Stanford" jersey, however.

The "Anything You Can Give Us" Group
Jason Davis - I still think the flame-throwing Davis deserves a shot to close. His career as a starter is so similar to Eric Gagne's, its scary. In 2000, Gagne made 19 starts, going 4-6 with a 5.15 ERA. He followed that up in 2001 with a forgettable 6-7 4.75 campaign in 24 starts. The Dodgers coverted him to closer based on his arm strength and how effective he was early in games, and the rest is history.

Andrew Brown - The Chardon native was the subject of a cruel Indians prank last year when he was called up to the show on August 20, only to never appear in an actual game. Lets hope he uses that as motivation this season.

The "Big Potential" Group
Fernando Cabrera - The 24-year-old looked downright nasty at time last year and finished with a 1.47 ERA in over 30 innings of work. Look for good things from Cabrera.

Jeremy Sowers and Fausto Carmona - Two guys we might not see much of until September, but look to figure significantly into the Tribe's future plans.

The "Washed Up" Group
Steve Karsay and Danny Graves - Neither of these guys was able to keep his ERA under 6.50 last season. What else needs to be said?

The "Jason Johnson" Group
Jason Johnson - I don't know what it is, but I just do not like this guy. Oh yeah, its his career 52-86 record. I think my friend Shnydes summed it up best when we were discussing Johnson a few weeks ago. As he was looking at his stats online, he said, "Jason Johnson, he hasn't been good since (pause) He's NEVER been good!"
I realize he's a fifth starter and I realize he has pitched on bad teams and I realize "24" is a popular show even though I don't understand how that much can happen in one day. But we couldn't do better than this for our starting rotation? I have a strong feeling Eric Wedge will be penciling in a name other than Jason Johnson for the 5th spot by July, and Johnson will be anchoring the rotation - for the Buffalo Bisons..

So there you have it. Stay tuned for a report on the position players. If I feel like it...

Do I hear wedding Belles?

Accuse Albert Belle of being hot-tempered. Accuse him of being a lunatic who probably isn't fit for society based on his history of violence. Even accuse him of cheating during his playing days with corked bats and "alleged" steroid use.

But one thing you CANNOT accuse Albert Belle of is not having a romantic side when it comes to the LADIES!! In his latest Prince Charming exploit, Belle "tracked his ex-girlfriend with a GPS tracking device and repeatedly threatened her...and has been charged with stalking," according to the Associated Press.

Now if you are man reading this, you are probably cursing Belle for making the rest of us look bad. If you are a woman, you are probably blushing and hoping against hope that your husband/boyfriend would engage in such timeless acts of chivalry.

In all seriousness, I have just one thing to say to the unnamed woman who fell victim to Belle's stalking. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT, HE'S ALBERT FREAKING BELLE!!

I mean who was her next choice for boyfriend, the Unabomber? I realize there is always an element of risk when entering a relationship, but when the guy is a public figure who spent the majority of his career disproving even the staunchest of believers in his sanity, how did you think this would end up?

Here's the funny twist to the story. When the AP attempted to extract a comment form the volatile Belle, he responded with, "You didn't write a story about my Hall of Fame induction. You guys never report the good stuff I do."

Mm hmm. Um psst, Albert. Uh you didn't make the Hall of Fame bro. I really hate to be the one to break that to you.

And about the "good stuff I do" that hasn't been reported, I distinctly remember hearing about an incident on Halloween when he tried to run down kids in his SUV after they peppered his house with eggs, oh wait that wasn't good.

Well what about the time he pelted a fan in the chest with a ball he threw from the playing field, wait that wasn't good either.

So what good stuff have you done Albert? Oh thats right, we don't know because it was never reported!

Da dum CHING!

WAKE UP, Tribe fans!

Here is an excerpt from Plain Dealer columnist Roger Brown's column from Friday:

Number of fans
attending Indians home games in 2005: 2,013,763.
Number of fans Indians ownership said were needed in 2005 to break even financially: 1.95 million.
Number of tickets already sold for 2006 season: More than 1 million (some two months before Opening Day).
Amount Indians received from FSN Ohio last season to air TV games: An estimated $16.5 million.
Amount Indians rejected from FSN Ohio to air games this season (because they expect to rake in much more airing them on a team-owned network): $35 million.
Average amount a family of four paid to see one Indians home game in 2005: $156.18.
Average amount that family will pay in 2006: Still unknown. But we'll bet more than $156.18.
Now, those are cold, hard numbers. Yet, we still get e-mails from Indians fans who fret that owner Larry Dolan - a master at poor-mouthing - might go broke running the team. And, who defend Dolan's tight-fisted refusal to spend real money on acquiring players. (Like it's their money that's on the line.)
Huh? Excuse us? Here's a news flash: Neither Dolan nor Indians President Paul Dolan, his son, will be suddenly standing in line for government-issued cheese if the team signs a player (or two) who isn't a cheap-cost journeyman. (Uh, no offense, Todd Hollandsworth, Lou Merloni, Danny Graves, Steve Karsay . . . .

Here is an email I sent him in response:

Sladek Jon Contr > 02/10/06 02:38PM >>>
GREAT JOB MR. BROWN!!!

Finally somebody in Cleveland with the stones to take Larry "tight pockets" Dolan to task on misleading the fans. The only thing you forgot to include is the monies the Tribe received from revenue sharing last year.
I wholeheartedly applaud you for not giving the Indians a pass. It bewilders me how some fans actually support that clown, it's almost like some Cleveland sports fans are ok with being the most tortured city, or never achieving any level of success. They have accepted mediocrity.

Way to go Roger, keep fighting the good fight!
Jon Sladek

And here is his response:

Jon, thanks for the e-mail and nice words from ALA! I really appreciate them, and you're absolutely right: I should have also noted the revenue sharing money that the Indians get from things like XM Radio, etc. As you noted, I simply want fans to demand more from the Indians ownership and not passively accept its rhetoric. Thanks again and keep in touch during the baseball season! - Roger Brown

There you have it. Roger Brown "gets it" while countless Indians fans remain brainwashed by the corrupt Larry Dolan regime. Until more people open there eyes to the truth, Dolan will continue to stockpile his bank account at the expense of the best interest of the fans...

Super Bowl 2006

First lets cover some thoughts on Super Bowl XL.

From an music perspective, this Super Bowl was atrocious. The average age of the musical guests, between the national anthem and the halftime show, was 82.4-years-old. I was embarassed for Aaron Neville and offended by Aretha Franklin's "soulful" version of the Star-Spangled Banner. Then there was the Rolling Stones. Its probably not a good thing when I spent the whole halftime performance concerned that Mick Jagger would have a heart attack, I mean isn't he like 70? Was there really no available younger acts to book? Its the Super Bowl for gosh sakes! Was Johnny Cash the initial act booked?

As far as the game goes, I have already been hearing a lot of noise about the officiating. True there were some bad calls, but did any call do as much damage to the Seahawks as the dynamic duo of clock management, Mike Holmgren and Matt Hasselbeck did? I literally could not believe my eyes watching Hasselbeck fidgeting around behind center as more than 30 precious seconds ticked away at the end of the first half. They easily blew a field goal and maybe even a touchdown. I still think the Steelers deserved to win regardless of the officiating (which was bad).

Here's a question, did Mike Holmgren stiff Bill Cowher at the postgame handshake? I saw Cowher walking out to midfield, then thought I heard him ask, "where's Holmgren." Of course it was difficult to hear over the incessant hyperbole of Al Michaels and John Madden. Michaels was so busy trying to etch the moment in history, neither him, nor a half-senile Madden seemed to notice Cowher standing at midfield like a jilted bride. If Holmgren did in fact stiff him, that is one of the more classless acts in Super Bowl history.

Now lets get to what this Super Bowl means to us Browns fans.

I'm just going to say it, don't be mad or upset about this. Lets be real about this Browns fans, comparing ourselves to the Steelers is like bringing a one-legged man to an ass-kicking contest, it just doesn't make sense.

I know I may be ruffling feathers, but lets look at the facts. The Steelers have now won five Super Bowls, we have yet to appear in one. The Steelers have had two head coaches, Cowher and Chuck Noll, since 1969, we have had three since 1999. We are 3-11 against Pittsburgh since our return in '99 and have dropped nine of the last 10 to them.

Frankly put, they are just better at football than we are and have been since Chuck Noll arrived. Comparing ourselves to them will only spell doom for a fan base already suffering from an extreme inferiority complex.

Hey , I can say these things because I am right there with you all. I have since learned, if we are going to be upset everytime the Steelers beat us, or achieve any success, then we are going to spend an awful lot of time upset.

The Browns are a mess right now and have been since '99, but my hopes and dreams rest in one simple goal, one day seeing them win the Super Bowl. If and when that glorious day ever comes, it will be our day to remember for the rest of our lives. And I'll be damned if I let what the Steelers have done cast even the slightest shadow on our victory parade.